


They Looked Like Strong Hands

by myracingthoughts



Series: Alone's The Only Way I've Ever Known [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Iron Man 3, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SHIELD, Secrets, Slow Burn, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23560420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myracingthoughts/pseuds/myracingthoughts
Summary: [Complete]Sequel to It's Not A Bad Little War.Danielle Fisher's still trying to find her place in the crazy, chaotic world of SHIELD.Between tense situations at work, explosive incidents at home, and the mess that is her mind, will she accept the help she's been pushing away for so long? Or will history unravel and repeat itself?Part 2 of a larger series.
Relationships: Avengers Team & Original Female Character(s), Clint Barton & Original Female Character(s), Tony Stark & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Alone's The Only Way I've Ever Known [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683040
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

** May 19, 2012 **

“Are you planning on getting out of bed today, or?”

Tony, having rapped on the door, cracked it open and leaned in.

Dani just sank deeper into the covers, practically cocooned in the blankets and sheets. She wasn’t tired; in fact, she didn’t know how long she had slept, if at all. She just didn’t want to sacrifice the comfort of her bed on a perfectly good Saturday. She didn’t have work, she made no plans, and frankly, she wanted to keep it that way.

Unfortunately, Tony didn’t understand the meaning of privacy, barging into her suite to make his point known.

“What are you even doing here, Tony?” She whined, voice muffled by the layers.

He huffed, and even though her eyes were closed, she could just picture the look on his face. She’d seen it a lot lately, every time Tony attempted to haul her out of her room.

“You know why.”

She sighed, already over this conversation. They were not having this talk, she decided. At this point, they were just going in circles; no one was coming out a winner here.

“I’m fine, Tony.”

She could hear him shuffling at the door, fidgeting.

“You don’t seem fine. You haven’t seemed fine for a while. Dani, it’s your—“

“It’s just a day,” she grumbled.

And she could say the same thing about him. He definitely wasn’t  _ fine _ right now; who was he to judge? He was just as guilty as hiding in the confines of Stark Tower post-Incident as she was.

In fact, she was convinced the sole reason Pepper had stayed in New York was to watch over them both, afraid of them being alone together. She screwed her eyes shut tightly, wishing Tony would just cut his losses and walk away. Bringing her knees to her chest, she made herself into a little ball in the mattress center.

Buzzing brought her back into the room. She looked over to watch her cellphone slowly crawl towards the edge, nearly vibrating itself off her nightstand.

“Are you going to get that?”

She rolled her eyes and bit her tongue, not wanting to encourage further discussion. The buzzing stopped before her hand touched the phone. Tapping the screen, there were 10 missed calls and 23 text messages. She didn’t even want to look at her IMs. She quickly skimmed the list of names, skipping over the repeats before giving up on finding what she was looking for. She threw herself and her phone onto the bed.

She didn’t have the energy to deal with this right now.

The bed below her creaked and shifted slightly under Tony’s weight, sitting on the edge of her bed. His right hand reached out and held onto the hand on her exposed arm.

The doctor didn’t bother moving it.

He sat staring at her open closet, black dress still hanging on the back of the door. The dress worn almost two weeks earlier at Phil Coulson’s memorial. Her mud-covered black heels were still splayed across the floor of her closet, untouched since that day.

Off work since the service, there’d had been no need to get to her closet. All of her comfy clothes lived her drawers, so it was easy to avoid that side of the room. They sat there, a reminder of why she was stuck at home.

A steady rotation of yoga pants, sweatpants and leggings were sitting in a hamper in the corner.

Her uniform for the time being.

SHIELD had given her two weeks off and an order to go see a therapist at the end of it. It wasn’t that she had acted out or wasn’t doing her job — it was the opposite, actually. They were concerned about pushing herself too hard after a trauma, as burnout was a significant risk in her industry. Her time off was coming to an end this weekend, and she merely wanted to not think about anything before her appointment on Monday.

She didn’t want to think about possibly failing her assessment and not going back to work. She didn’t want to think about Coulson not being at the office when she got back. And most of all, she didn’t want to think of what SHIELD was going to do with her next.

Dani just wanted to lie there while she could.

“Are you hungry?”

Tony was looking at her curiously as he pierced the silence. It was only a matter of time before he said something to fill it. Before she could even think of a snarky reply, her stomach growled.

Traitor.

“Let’s go get some lunch,” her brother said, smiling, patting her hand.

She groaned and threw the covers back over herself, trying to burrow further into the bed. It was quiet for a moment, until, across the room, she could hear the creak of her dresser drawers.

“Hey! Get out of there,” she tried to command, but her words came out muffled.

“Why, are you hiding something?”

She rolled her eyes at the accusation. Before she could land a snide remark about JARVIS knowing everything that went on in the tower, a t-shirt and pair of jeans plopped on top of her. Tony smirked at her from across the room.

“Ten minutes. I’ll be in your living room,” Tony informed her with a parental-looking finger wag.

The brunette rolled her eyes, suddenly feeling like this whole thing was revenge for him never experiencing her teenage years. Throwing on the clothes he tossed at her, she was still grumpy about having to leave the warmth of her bed. She ran a brush through her hair, waves imprinted with pillow markings from having stayed in bed all day. A little tinted moisturizer, some mascara through her lashes, and she finally looked alive enough to go out into the world.

True to his word, Tony was waiting outside, staring at his cellphone. He gave her a faint smile as she came out of her room as if he wasn’t expecting her to go down without a fight and was pleasantly surprised.

“Pepper will meet us there.”

Dani felt a little warmer at those words.

“And where exactly is there?”

He looked up from his phone and cocked an eyebrow, “Feel like pizza?”

“Is that even a question?”

“Then, you know exactly where we’re going.”

The drive was a short one, but it was the first time Dani had been out of her suite in a week. Her phone pulsated in her sweater pocket the whole ride, but she wasn’t about to pick it up in the car with Tony. She couldn’t give him the satisfaction of perceived progress; nothing was changing, after all. They were just going to have lunch with Pepper.

Stepping into the hole in the wall restaurant with a faded window decal, there were a few full tables, but it was still early for weekend lunch by New York City standards. Dani was grateful to see the strawberry blonde sitting at a table in the restaurant’s deserted back, smiling.

“Happy birthday, Dani!”

The doctor managed a half-smile and leaned into her hug.

“Thanks, Pepper,” her voice cracked as she said the words she didn’t really mean.

But unlike Tony, she wasn’t about to chide her for the greeting.

Dani was grateful for Pepper. She had mostly kept her distance the past two weeks. Some nights she’d show up to her suite after long days finalizing the work that still needed to be done on the tower, take-out containers and bottle of wine in hand. Otherwise, she’d let her process at her own pace. It was gradual, but she’d managed to open up to her a little bit. More than she would have let Tony, but it was no secret that neither of them were natural sharers.

Tony glowered across the table, “Oh, you accept Pepper’s well wishes but not mine.” He tucked his chair closer to the table and added to Pepper, “She didn’t even let me wish her a—”

“Don’t push your luck,” Dani sniped.

They didn’t even need menus, ordering a few different pizzas for them to split. The servers were used to seeing Tony here; it was one of his safe spots in the city. Something he had stumbled into one night after too much work in the lab and not enough sleep.

Recommending another pizza place was essentially blasphemy. It was the closest Tony got to being a real New Yorker.

“I know you said you didn’t want a party or anything, but are you sure you don’t want to do something today?” Pepper’s pleading eyes bored in the doctor’s. “We could go shopping, maybe visit a museum?”

The brunette thought about it. It was tempting. But Dani knew the bustling city was bursting at the seams on the weekend, and she wasn’t really up to being around crowds right now. Not if she didn’t have to be.

“Can we just have dinner together at home?”

She wasn’t sure if it was her small voice or the request that threw Pepper off. As much as the doctor felt guilty for likely being the reason they hadn’t gone back home to Malibu, she wasn’t quite ready to let go of potential time together. The strawberry blonde’s forehead creased, eyes softening as she reached across the table and grasped her hand.

“Of course we can. Do you want to invite anyone over?”

The brunette shook her head and explained, “Nat and Clint are out of the country.”

She couldn’t think of anyone else she’d rather be with. Not when she was feeling like this. She didn’t want to subject anyone else to whatever she was going through right now. Frankly, she’d been trying to avoid Tony and Pepper of late, but they were just as stubborn as she was.

Tony was still unconvinced on the lack of celebratory plans, arms crossed across the table from her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go out? If it’s about the crowds, I can get a private room somewhere, we don’t have to—“

Pepper interrupted him, looking both siblings in the eyes, “No. I think a nice family dinner in is just what we need.”


	2. Chapter 2

Once home from pizza and a quick grocery shop, they’d spent the afternoon watching movies on the couch in Pepper and Tony’s private suite. It was one of the only levels fully furnished aside from her own. She settled on Spirited Away, which was much less of a relaxing watch with Tony chirping in the background.

Pepper had snuck off into the kitchen to prep dinner, telling the siblings not to even think about helping. Tony shrugged from his spot on the couch, unperturbed. Dani, at least, managed to make a dent in her missed texts and calls. She was texting a thank you to Bruce when Pepper called out from the kitchen.

“Dani, can you get the door?”

She hadn’t heard the knock, but she got up to open it anyway, knowing Pepper was busy prepping dinner. Swinging it open, the brunette spotted the telltale plastic cake case before she even realized who was holding it.

“Happy birthday!” Nat and Clint shouted in a sing-song voice.

She could have cried, but instead, she enveloped them up in a group hug. The spy carefully angled the cake away from the embrace, the archer shifting the bottle of wine he was carrying into the other arm so he could wrap it around her.

“I thought… When you didn’t…” Dani was struggling to come up with a coherent sentence, blown away that they were standing there.

She stared at them with warm cheeks, taking in their appearance—hair a little tousled, clothes a little wrinkled. But most importantly, no cuts scrapes or limps that she could see. It put her at ease.

“Well, don’t just keep our guests in the hallway!” Tony shouted from his spot on the couch.

Dani tried to shake herself out of it, motioning them inside. Nat headed straight into the kitchen to drop off the cake while Clint handed her the wine bottle.

“Only one?” She chided jokingly. “You know this isn’t enough for all of us to survive dinner with Tony at the table.”

“Oh no, the wine’s for Tony. House specialty.” He smirked before dramatically whispering, “Should knock him out within the hour.”

They both laughed, Nat wearing a cocked eyebrow as she rejoined them.

“So, how have you been holding up?” Clint asked with a smile, but she could tell he was digging for information.

She could feel him staring at bags under her eyes, observing her a little more cautiously than usual. Like she was something fragile. It was the same with Nat; they were careful with their words. She wished she could tell them that everything was fine, that them being there was doing a world of good, but she didn’t want to sour the mood.

“That good, huh?” Nat chimed in.

“You try living with him,” Dani challenged.

The archer had wide eyes, replying, “I think I speak for both of us when we say, ‘no thank you.’”

Dani looked to the spot on the couch where Tony had been sitting to see his reaction but found it empty.

“Talking shit about me in my own home,” Tony grumbled from the kitchen, emerging with platters of chicken and pasta.

The trio chuckled before heading into the kitchen to grab the rest of the food to help set it down. Taking a seat at the long dining room table, Dani looked around at the five of them, overjoyed that they had all been able to come together. She couldn’t remember the last time she sat at a full table, never mind actually celebrated her birthday.

Twenty-five years, and she was pretty sure she could count the parties on one hand.

“Pepper, this looks amazing,” Nat said, staring at the dining table full of food. “I don’t remember the last time we had a home-cooked meal.”

Clint was practically drooling as he filled his plate, scooping potatoes into a massive pile while Natasha gave him massive side-eye.

“I don’t even know where you put that all,” she said in a not-so-surprised tone.

“What?” Clint said through a mouthful of chicken.

“So, are you back to HQ on Monday?” Nat deftly changed the subject, avoiding looking at the starving man child beside her.

Dani blinked, wondering if she could blow off the question without giving away her nerves. Damn spies.

She sighed a little louder than she intended before answering the redhead, “Yeah. You know, as long as I pass the psych assessment.”

The spies gave her knowing nods while Tony and Pepper looked on, sporting looks of concern.

“It’s not that bad,” Clint said after a gulp of water. “I was in and out in twenty minutes.”

“You’ll be fine, Dani,” Nat said in agreement, green eyes bright. “The psych team is great.”

That made her feel a little better. She’d never done any sort of therapy before, so the idea of having to sit down and talk about yourself and your feelings because your job depended on it made her feel sick. But hearing the ease in Clint and Nat’s voices helped her drown out that little voice of worry inside her head — at least on that front.

“Plus, I’m going to need a little physio after this mission, and I’d much rather have you than the regular NYC fill-in,” Clint shuddered with a grin as he prodded at his shoulder.

“What’s wrong with Dr. Hammond?” Dani exclaimed with a cocked eyebrow.

“He’s like 80!”

“Clint prefers a little eye candy with his appointments,” Nat shot under her breath, making Clint’s ears turn red.

And unfortunately, Tony caught the remark from across the table, nearly spitting out his water as he glared at the archer.

“What?!”

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Tony joked with a twinkle in his eyes as he walked Dani back to her suite.

It was late; Clint and Nat had stayed trading tales over post-dinner bourbon and espresso. It was around the second cup when they gave up, retiring back to their places. The brunette wasn’t sure which ones — there were a few possibilities, including Clint’s apartment building — but it was probably one of their SHIELD-owned suites.

Unlike the spies, Tony refused to give up. He spent the whole night shooting her sideways glances and bringing up the fact that she didn’t like her birthday like some sort of party trick. He was like a dog with a bone at the best of times.

She awaited the next obvious question he was going to use to fill the dead air.

“I don’t get it. Why do you hate your birthday so much? It’s not like you’re turning 40 or something,” he asked from beside her.

She rolled her eyes. Of course, he would think it was about something as stupid as age.

“Because nothing good ever happens around my birthday, Tony. Quite the opposite, actually,” she said quietly, trying not to think about the years before she found herself an honorary Stark. “Honestly, the best thing to happen around my birthday was you coming home. Twice, now.”

Tony didn’t know a lot about her life before finding him. Aside from the dozens of addresses, part-time jobs and anything available on her CV, he wasn’t able to find much about what she’d been through at all. And he tried, oh did he try. Between him and Pepper, Dani had been given a CIA-level background check before they even believed she was who she claimed to be.

The doctor had a feeling he always assumed there were things she wasn’t telling him. Serious things. And he wasn’t wrong, but hopefully, his lack of hard-hitting questions was more a product of him trusting her rather than being afraid of what he’d find.

He blinked at her in silence as they walked off the elevator and toward the door to her suite as if it all clicked into place. A guilty look painted his face, and he patted her back gently.

“I’m sorry.”

She almost wanted to joke around with him, ask if he could repeat the rarely said words so she could record them, but she was too tired for that. It had been a long two weeks, and she wasn’t entirely innocent in this whole ordeal.

“I’m sorry I’ve been moping all day,” she conceded, feeling like a teenager again. “I really do appreciate that you wanted to make today special.”

“Hey, it’s your birthday, you can cry—”

“Don’t you dare bring Lesley Gore into this.”

He snickered, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. The conversation lulled for a beat.

“It’s nobody’s fault,” she said finally, trying to relieve him of the guilt she could still see in him. “What’s important is that we’re here together, right now.”

She said it knowing it was what he wanted to hear, what he may have needed to hear, but she realized she needed to hear it too.

As alone as she felt in this, she needed to remind herself there were people around her that cared. It was a new experience; she was still getting used to allowing people in, and while she was far from comfortable with making this a regular occurrence, she was starting to realize that reaching out wasn’t so bad sometimes.

Maybe she’d try to stop fighting the help offered to her.

“I told you, we’ll get through it, kid,” he said, patting her on the back and heading toward the elevator.

She waited until the steel doors closed in front of him before heading back into her space. She had to double-take as she glimpsed something sitting on her kitchen table. Who had been in here?

She toyed with the small paper tag attached to the bow. Opening and reading the perfect cursive inside, it all made sense.

_ I know Pepper said you didn’t want presents, _

_ but we had to bring you back a little something from our trip. _

_ Consider it a house-warming gift if it makes you feel better. _

_ Yours, _

_ Nat & Clint _

“PS: This was totally my idea,” was scrawled in Clint’s chicken scratch at the bottom of the note, and she had to chuckle.

She picked off the bow and unwrapped the box, finding an Aran wool throw in the most beautiful shade of lavender. Extending her fingers over the fabric, she smiled. It was incredibly soft. She brought it to face, indulging in the comfort and smelling something warm and familiar…

She’d have to remember to text them a thank you before she settled down for the night.

Carefully gathering the fabric, she walked towards the bedroom. Dani flicked on the light in her room, and all she could see was the mess.

Deciding she likely wasn’t going to be sleeping tonight anyway, she instead got to work. Setting the blanket carefully onto her bed, she pulled her hair into a bun at the top of her head and started. Sorting her laundry, she ran a couple loads as she got to work righting the rest of her room.

The brunette turned to her open closet door and sighed. Smoothing out the black dress hanging on the inside of her door, she grabbed the hanger and hung it in the back of her closet.

This was her turning the page on a fresh chapter, she decided.

Work bag packed and set by the door, she set out her workout kit on the bed, ready for the next morning. She checked her watch — nope  _ this _ morning. She caught a look at herself in the mirror above her dresser and managed a half-smile.

Time to get back to it.


	3. Chapter 3

** May 22, 2012 **

“Oof.”

The doctor’s lungs were suddenly free of air, her back flat against the practice room’s mat. Clint Barton leaned over her, pinning both arms to the mat above her head with a toothy grin. It was hard not to smile back at him, even considering the circumstances. But all said, she was much too tired to fight back and, instead, spent the moments it took her lungs to refill enjoying the break.

“This is payback for yesterday’s physio session, isn’t it?” She managed to croak out.

Clint chuckled; she could feel it reverberate in his chest, “Nah, this is just a celebratory welcome back to work.”

“I’d hate to see what revenge feels like,” she muttered as he continued to laugh.

He let go of her arms, getting to his feet before offering her a hand. Taking it, he pulled her up to stand. Her legs already felt like jello, and they’d only been at it for half an hour. She took a moment to kneed out the muscles in her legs, trying to wake them up. Dani was thankful the practice room was empty today; she’d rather none of her patients see her in her sweaty, red-faced glory.

Clint was one of the few agents she felt comfortable enough to help her train, especially when it came to brushing up her annual assessment. He wouldn’t baby her but made sure she had a hold of the basics before challenging her further. He always reminded her that she wouldn’t have the time to think in a real situation, so repetition was key to instilling the right muscle memory.

“I need some work, don’t I?” Through pants, she said, cringing a little at the thought of having to go through this some more.

“I mean, it’s not awful?” Clint started with a sarcastic jab. “But you’re starting to get it. Ready?”

She nodded, and he took up position behind her, holding her neck in the crook of his elbow. He used his other arm to tighten the hold.

“Just breathe and take your time.”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to feel her way through the motions this time. She jumped up, pushing all of her weight into her shoulders and pushing them both back, throwing Clint off balance. Landing, she pulled both of her feet under herself, making herself into a human ball and forcing the archer into a forward fold on top of her that loosened his grip. She twisted sideways and scooted back, pulling her head out of his grasp.

“You’re heavy,” she groaned, massaging her neck.

“Hey! I’ll have you know I definitely lost weight on that last mission,” Clint snarked with a smirk. “And that was better.”

They practiced some more hold escapes for the next half hour, Dani ending up with her back on the mat more times than she’d like to admit. They wrapped up with some cool-down stretches, a welcome break for the brunette. She was in half-pigeon by the time Clint got up the nerve to ask her about the day before.

“How’d your session go yesterday, anyway?” He took a sip from his water-bottle, but his eyes didn’t leave her as he drank.

He was probing to try to get a reaction out of her—typical spy move.

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” She joked, words muffled into her calf. She could practically hear Clint roll his eyes at the cop-out of a response, and she sighed, “OK, fine. It was… fine.”

Cringing at her own words, she pushed herself up to switch legs, arms cradling her head as her forehead met the floor again. He wasn’t about to let that one go. Waiting for his follow up, she tried to steady her breathing and calm her racing heart.

“Just fine?” Clint pushed, voice skeptical in response to her uncertain answer.

Dani kept her gaze on her limbs as she spoke, trying to play it as just focussing on the stretch, but her stomach lurched. She tried to soften her hands, realizing they were starting to ball themselves into fists.

“Dr. Edwards wants to book a follow-up,” she admitted a little quieter.

The silence was palpable like the archer was trying to find the right thing to say. She couldn’t look up from her position; she didn’t want to see him physically searching for the words. She already knew this wasn’t a good sign.

“But they let you back to work,” he said finally as if that was enough proof that it was copacetic.

She sighed, “I’m fine. They probably just need to update my file or whatever.”

Clint looked uncertain at that answer, and the feeling in the pit of her stomach was back with a vengeance. If he hadn’t gone through a follow-up appointment, the person who had literally been mind-controlled by a demigod, then maybe something was really wrong with her. Either that or they were digging for something. Neither option was a cakewalk.

She flipped onto her back, setting up for an inversion.

The archer observed her, and she wasn’t sure if he was worried she’d fall out of the pose or if he was worried she was about to break. Either way, his gaze made her uncomfortable and nervous, especially when paired with the awkward silence between them. If Clint was at a loss for words, she knew she was conceivably fucked.

“Have you spoken to Hill yet?” He said finally.

She nodded, “She said it was standard, all things considered.”

“Well, she would know.”

Word around med bay was that Agent Hill also went through the wringer with her psych eval, but the rumour was Fury stepped in and overrode any planned action in favour of getting her back on duty faster.

God, she wished Nick Fury gave enough of a shit about her to step in right about now.

It was an unusual move, which is why word spread hard and fast across the organization. It wasn’t often that Fury superseded medical advice, but STRIKE team weren’t exactly angels on that front either.

She’d seen that first hand.

A towel hit her face, knocking her out of her thoughts and landing on her head. She grumbled at Clint, laughing from across the room. She towelled herself off, hoisting herself up to her feet and rolling her ankles for one last stretch.

“Hit the showers,” he said as he playfully smacked her on the back. “But seriously, good job today. We’ll pick up tomorrow.”

Dani groaned, rubbing the spot he hit.

“Don’t be a baby,” he quipped with a smirk.

“Don’t injure your physiotherapist, unless you’re jonesing to be reassigned to Dr. Hammond,” she sniped back.

Clint widened his eyes and gave her a terrified expression. She snickered and patted him on the bicep.

“Thanks again for getting me up to speed while you’re still in town,” Dani said, throwing the white towel over her shoulder. “I know the assessment’s a few months out, but I figured I could use the work.”

“Nah, it’s no problem at all. Happy to help you out whenever I’m local,” he said with a smile. “I’d rather train you myself than leave you to any of the other STRIKE guys,” Clint added offhand.

“They’re not all bad,” she offered with a shrug, taking an extra look around to make sure the room was still clear.

His face suddenly turned severe, and his eyes narrowed, “You haven’t seen or  _ heard _ what I have. It’s a glorified boys club.”

Well, this was a new look for him. Was that protectiveness Dani was sensing?

It was almost charming seeing Clint bristle and break from his usual goofy smile. She could see him stiffen, body language angry at the thought of whatever he’d witnessed. She felt a strangely warm at the gesture, the corners of her lips upturned. She lightly and playfully punched his shoulder, trying to lighten the mood and crack a smile.

“Don’t go all white knight on me, Barton,” she joked. “I don’t have much honour to uphold.”

Eyebrows unfurrowed, his face softened. He looked at her with a smile and hip-checked her.

“Tomorrow, 10am. You, me and the mat,” he tried to say with a straight face.

“Yes sir,” she replied with a roll of her eyes and a two-finger salute.

“I could get used to being called sir,” he mused suggestively before Dani slapped his shoulder. “Ow, I just got that fixed.”

He rubbed his shoulder with a hurt look on his face, but she could see the twinkle in his eyes.

“Now who’s being a baby?”


	4. Chapter 4

** June 18, 2012 **

“Dr. Fisher,” Dr. Edwards greeted. “How have you been since we spoke last?”

Dr. Edwards was an older man, sitting in a grey plaid suit that was at least a decade old based on the cut. His hair, or what was left of it, was a curly white mop, and he sat across from the brunette with a hardcover lined notebook in his lap. He looked onto it over his brown tortoiseshell glasses that hung dangerously close to his nose’s edge.

“Great,” she said as warmly as she could muster. “Getting back to patient care has been nice. And I’ve started getting back to training.”

She sat in a leather love seat next to a matching wingback armchair. It was her first meeting of the morning, hence the mostly full coffee cup perched on the table in front of her. Legs crossed politely at the ankles, the brunette tried to emanate stability and peace, even though her stomach was doing somersaults. She kept her body language casual, making sure she wasn’t hunched over or rigid.

It wasn’t that Dani was trying to be deceptive, but she was very much trying to expedite this whole process and put on the best face possible.

She couldn’t afford to fail this assessment, never mind losing this job.

“Ah,” he said in an understanding tone. “Annual review coming up in a few months, right?”

She nodded, moving her hands into her lap, trying to relax them as they started to claw into themselves.

“Are you concerned about passing your assessments?”

He stared at her over his glasses, pen in hand, dangling above the notebook.

“I think I honestly feel more confident this time around,” she said. “Last year was my first time ever doing those kinds of tests, so I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into.”

“And does that fear of not knowing scare you?”

She licked her lips. The obvious answer was yes, but that likely wasn’t the answer the older man was looking for.

“I would say that I’d rather prepare myself for any possible scenario, versus worry about any uncertainty,” she said finally, still not entirely pleased with her cop-out of a reply.

“And you’ve been told that your assessment this year will be different, correct?”

Nodding, she didn’t really know what that entailed, but the tone in his voice sent a punch to her gut. She’dObviously, she’d heard rumours, but she was skeptical about anything that leaked out of the STRIKE team. They were stingy with information, and any morsels that leaked out were done so tactically, so she wasn’t sure if they were just trying to weed out the weak recruits with tall tales. This was the first time she’d heard a warning about the advanced assessment from someone outside of the elite team, and to say she was concerned was an understatement.

As if she wasn’t worried enough about the present situation, she now had  _ that _ to look forward to.

“How does that make you feel?”

Not great, Doc.

Dani kept her voice steady, “I mean, obviously I’m working with the Avengers now, so it makes sense that my skills have to be a little more… specialized.”

She tried hard to keep her answers broad, not wanting to give away more than she needed. What she really  _ needed _ was for this session to be over with. It was starting to put her on edge, having to open up like this to a total stranger. It was like he was speaking in code, beating around the bush to get to a punchline she hadn’t figured out yet.

“And how specialized are you comfortable with?”

She almost didn’t know how to answer that. Was he asking if she was willing to die in the line of duty? Sacrifice a loved one? Be tortured for prolonged periods? Smoothing out her forehead wrinkles, she knew the answer and tried to recite it confidently.

“I’m willing to do whatever necessary to get the job done right by SHIELD.”

He nodded, the crease in his own forehead subsiding for a moment, but she still couldn’t get a read on the man. He was taking a lot of notes on the second page already by Dani’s count. She tried not to outright look at the chicken scratch on his tablet screen, sneaking glances as he put his head down to focus instead.

“I wanted to go back to something you touched on in our previous session, about family.”

He flipped back through his notebook while Dani tried her hardest not to cringe. It looked like he was about to go for the jugular.

He went on, “You mentioned you didn’t have a typical family dynamic growing up. Do you want to expand on what you meant that?”

Great. Just what she wanted to talk about.

Thankfully, having interviewed for an international intelligence and counter-terrorism organization gave her a little bit of experience glossing over personal details. Or at least wrapping them up with a friendly, digestible bow. She sat up a little straighter in her chair, realizing she had sunk back a bit during the session. Grabbing her coffee mug, she let the heat radiating from the ceramic ground her as she spoke.

“Well, my mother had a hard time finding work growing up, so I ended up moving a lot as a child. Twelve states in ten years, but I made it out all right. Kept good my grades up, had some friends. Not a lot of other family to speak of,” she said dismissively.

It was the truth.

“And your father?”

“Never knew him.”

Also true.

“Did you have a father figure growing up?”

She hesitated, covering it with a sip from her coffee cup, “No, not a steady one. My mom dated a little bit here and there, but nothing really came of it. Plus, we moved so often it was hard to have any constants.”

Not quite. Dani watched his expression, looking for any sort of tick towards her easy tell and too-detailed answer, but came up empty.

He moved on.

“And what about your brother, Tony Stark. How do you two get along?”

She wondered if this was him getting to the meat of his line of fire. Is this what he was trying to get at? Were people still questioning her loyalty to SHIELD? She thought back to the confrontation on the Helicarrier, the concerned and skeptical looks, the accusations. Was this the unresolved issue that they were trying to fish out of her?

Did this all come down to Tony? This whole session felt oddly personal and not in the typical therapeutic way.

Not that she would really know the difference.

“I’d say we get along well. I mean, he also works with SHIELD, so it’s nice to have someone who gets it.”

“Do you talk a lot about your work with each other?”

“Not really,” she said, stopping herself from chewing on the inside of her lip. “Working in the med bay, everything we do is pretty highly classified, so it’s not something I can talk about beyond generalities about my profession.”

Slipping into clinician talk, her safe space. She wasn’t sure how that would play with the doctor across from her.

“Of course, of course,” he muttered to himself as he took notes. He paused for a moment, looking up at her as he asked the next question, “Do you think these sessions are helpful for you, Doctor?”

She was completely thrown off by it, eyebrows flying up to her forehead before she could stop them. Her expression must have tipped him off to her confusion because he explained further.

“I mean, do you think it would be helpful for you to open up a bit about your personal life? Maybe analyze some scenarios and develop some strategies to ensure you have the tools you need to work effectively. We all know how stressful this line of work can be.”

Her heart sunk, realizing the punchline to this whole conversation was a thinly-veiled order.

Scoping out the training room, the brunette needed to let off some steam after her session. She peered through the glass door to ensure the place was clear, not wanting to deal with watchful eyes. She felt embarrassed enough about her session; she didn’t need any jabs from the peanut gallery.

Dani had barely closed the door to the training room behind her when she spotted a familiar face hidden by the weight rack in the corner. Blond hair peeked out as he hunched over the plates, in the middle of switching them out.

“Why are  _ you _ here?” She said a little harsher than she meant to.

He jumped a little as he saw her, eyebrows knotted at her less than pleased expression.

“What?” The blond archer said defensively. “Are you mad at me or something? I thought we cancelled today’s session.”

“We did,” She explained, hand on her hip. “Because it’s  _ your birthday _ . You should be at home, not working.”

“Says the one who didn’t want to celebrate her own birthday,” Clint shot back, clearly not pulling any verbal punches today.

Dani scoffed, “This is different. I didn’t have to work on my birthday.”

“That’s not the point,” he said, putting down the weights in his hands and walking over with a finger point. “You’re just deflecting because you don’t want to talk about your session.”

She sighed, giving up on the bickering because he had hit the exposed nerve on the head. She threw her hands up in the air like a white flag.

He won.

He was right; she had specifically scheduled this appointment today, hoping that she wouldn’t have to talk to Clint about it at all. Not that she would ever admit it out loud.

“Happy birthday, you dummy,” She said in a quiet voice, throwing her arms around his shoulder and pulled him in for a hug. “You old enough to drink yet?

She sank a little deeper than she normally would into the embrace, thrilled to feel any sort of comfort after the morning she had. She chuckled. She could feel the echo in his chest, familiar and comforting.

“That bad, huh?” He muttered in her ear, rubbing her back lightly. He hummed as if considering her silence, “More sessions on the way?”

He could read her like a book.

Today, she was thankful for that. It allowed her not to have to say anything. She lifted herself out of the hug and nodded, not really wanting to talk about it aloud and give it credence. He seemed to get the hint that it wasn’t something she wanted to dwell on.

She was also supremely thankful Clint was good at filling awkward silence, or else this would have been a downer of a conversation, and she’d had enough of those as of late.

“Well, we can try to forget about it over drinks tonight. It’s Nat’s turn to pay anyway,” he said, flashing her a devious smile. “Until then, are you up for training? I’ll let you try to kick the shit out of me?”

She couldn’t say no to the puppy dog face.

Or the offer to attempt to beat him up.

Attempt being the keyword.

“Let’s go, birthday boy.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy a little more fluff than usual. 
> 
> I couldn't stop myself.

** July 4, 2012 **

It all started with a call from a private number.

With SHIELD, it was always a private number.

“Dr. Fisher,” she spoke into her cell phone at the private number calling her.

“Hi Dr. Fisher, this is Dr. Hak down at HQ,” the woman on the phone explained. “We just got a couple STRIKE members back from a mission. I have at least one case that I think would benefit from an emergency consult.”

So much for the day off.

She stared longingly at her reflection. Her shorts, sandals and new sunglasses would have to wait for another day. She tossed the novel in her hand onto her bed, a little dejected at missing out on the sun.

“No problem,” she said quickly. “Would you be able to pass along their file?”

“Way ahead of you,” Dr. Hak said. “You’ll find everything on your desk. They should be finished with the med team in about thirty minutes.”

“I’m on my way,” Dani put down her phone and sighed.

Her outfit for Tony’s famous fourth of July shindig was sitting on her bed, about as patriotic and ostentatious as her wardrobe got. Tony insisted on nothing less than a black-tie affair, as expected. Outwardly, tonight’s party was just a regular Stark bash, but Tony had really planned it for Steve’s birthday. The guest of honour was due to arrive in a few hours, and she was supposed to be helping with the prep.

She quickly dialled Pepper’s number.

“Pepper, I am so sorry, but I got called into the office. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take,” she said to the cellphone balanced on her shoulder as she flicked through her work wardrobe and picked out a blouse and skirt.

“Oh no,” Pepper sighed on the phone and clicked her tongue. “Don’t even worry about it. We’ve worked with these vendors a thousand times, so they’ll be fine. Are you going to be OK? Will you have enough time to get ready?”

She chuckled. Of course, Pepper would be more concerned about her getting ready for the party than the party planning itself. She threw her phone on speakerphone and started changing.

“I’ll be fine, Pepper. It won’t kill Tony if I’m a little late.”

“Yes, it will!” Tony could be heard screeching in the background as she slipped on her shoes.

She chuckled and grabbed her work bag, making sure it had everything she needed.

“OK, well, hopefully, it’s not a long call,” Pepper conceded. “We’ll see you tonight.”

“See you!”

She threw on some quick, minimal make-up and fingered her work badge, taking inventory. A quick look in the mirror to make sure she didn’t look out of sorts and off to the office she went. It was only a ten-minute walk, and it was a nice day, so she took to the sidewalk.

Summer had arrived in the city, and it came with a vengeance. It was humid enough to break a sweat, but Dani was trying to soak in as much of the sun as possible. She was exceedingly thankful for the various decks and outdoor areas in Stark Tower this time of year.

When she could actually use them.

The office lobby was quieter than usual, with probably only the emergency staff on site for the holiday. It was nice getting an elevator to herself as she made her way up to her office.

But, the silence was short-lived because as soon as the doors open, she could hear the commotion.

“They’re going to need further medical attention. They should really be seeing Dr. Fisher,” she could hear one of the nurses down the hall.

“Well, we don’t have that kind of time,” a familiar gruff tone shot back.

Heels clicking on the tile floor, Dani paced towards the voices, just down the hall from her office. She stopped at her door and looked over, trying to defuse the situation.

“Sorry, did someone need a doctor?” She chimed in with an (overly) angelic smile.

The nurse, Gerry, looked relieved at the sound of her voice. Rumlow, on the other hand, was, as usual, less than impressed.

“I can take whoever needs to be seen,” Dani called down the hall, flicking the light on in her office and grabbing the folder there. “Rollins?”

She watched as the agent hobbled over, clearly favouring a side. She could already see some bandages peeking out from his uniform. As he got closer, she realized through the swelling that his brow had been stitched. The rest of his face bore the red and purple hues of various bruises.

“I hope you didn’t have plans tonight,” she said jokingly, trying to cover the wince that’d almost appeared on her face.

“Just me, the couch and an icepack,” he muttered. “My whole right upper body is on fire, Doc. I don’t know what happened. But it’s definitely not dislocated — I know what that feels like.”

She’d been through Rollins’ file at least half a dozen times, so she knew most of his history without having to look.

“Funny, I don’t see a dislocation in my notes,” she tutted with an accusing glance.

“I popped it back in, it was right as rain,” she rolled her eyes.

“Alright, let me see what we’re dealing with.”

He gingerly peeled out of his shirt, webs of purple weaving their way down his ribs. Another bandage covering a good chunk of his right side. She gently grasped his right arm, muscles underneath her twitching slightly at the contact.

“No plans for tonight, Doc?”

Running his arms through the motion step-by-step, she examined his arm in the light before weaving her way along with the muscles with her fingertips. Beyond feeling for any tears or fractures, she was trying to see where the pain points were.

“No where I’d rather be,” she joked with a smile. After a beat of silent observation to keep him on his toes, she added, “Nah, nothing pressing. Just a party at Stark Tower.”

“Sounds pretty pressing to me. What, no hot date?”

She actually enjoyed talking to patients during the assessment. It usually led to more genuine reactions during the exam while they were slightly distracted. That said, her dating life, or lack thereof, was something the walls of the SHIELD HQ didn’t need to hear.

“Tony and his parties,” she mused, ignoring his question as she kneaded his shoulder blade.

Rollins hissed as she got close to the shoulder socket.

“Yep, looks like the rotator cuff,” she said, scribbling down some notes on a pad. “Did you sleep on it?”

“Yeah, I mean, I got some hours last night.”

“Weakness?”

“A little.”

“Bright side, it likely won’t require surgery. Not-so-bright side, you’re going to have to see more some more,” Dani said playfully. “But seriously, I’m going to walk you through some exercises that I need you to do every day.”

She saw his face drop a little.

“I’m serious, you don’t do them, and you’re paving the way for a world of pain.”

He nodded soberly, face straightening out.

“You got it, Doc.”

The nurses managed to convince Rumlow to get two more on his team in for an assessment. One sprain, one dislocation, and it was three hours later when Dani finally strolled out of the office, paperwork complete. She checked her watch and sighed, planning how to get through hair and make-up as quickly as possible when a honk brought her out of her thoughts.

“Need a ride?” Clint leaned out of a car pulled up beside her.

She grinned, “You know, I normally don’t take rides from strangers.”

“Just get in,” Nat leaned over the center console. “We have to get you ready.”

“We?”

By ‘we,’ the spy had meant Clint was to snag a bottle of champagne from the party downstairs for them to work on while she helped Dani get ready and into her dress. He sat in an armchair at the corner of her bedroom, leisurely sipping a glass of bubbly and flipping through his phone.

It was nice to have them back. They’d been in D.C. for the past few weeks, on and off missions.

She missed Clint’s practise sessions, but they had managed to cover a lot of ground before they left. She was glad they actually had the holiday off and wondered briefly who they managed to bribe to be here.

“Spangled indeed,” Nat mused as she picked up the sparkling red gown draped over the bed. “Pepper pick this out?”

“That obvious, huh?” The doctor chuckled, trying to even out her eyeliner in the bathroom mirror. “How’s this?”

“Perfect,” Nat approved, moving behind her in the bathroom. “Let me just fix your hair a bit.”

She grabbed a few bobby pins and pulled out some loose curls for texture. Fixing her low chignon placement in under a minute, Dani admired her work in the mirror.

“OK, strip,” Natasha said finally.

Clint’s ears perked up from across the room, and he suddenly sat up a lot straighter in the armchair, craning his neck to playfully try to get a look. Nat rolled her eyes at his antics and closed the bathroom door before handing Dani the dress. The doctor stepped into the gown and slipped it on over her hips.

“Oh, wait, I forgot the jewellery!” The redhead dashed out of the bathroom and scrambled to the front room, leaving Dani to zip herself in.

She managed to get about halfway before the zipper wouldn’t go from the angle she was pulling at. Nat was still searching her bag for accessories in the front room, and they really had to be on their way down.

“Clint,” she called with a whine, opening the bathroom door. “Can you zip me in?”

She walked out of the bathroom and collected her loose curls away from her back, making sure none were stuck between the zipper teeth.

“As you wish,” he drawled and strolled across the room to help.

Dani could feel his fingers reach for the tiny pull, fumbling a bit behind her with a chuckle. His fingers ghosted over the skin on her back as he pulled the seams closer together, giving her spreading goosebumps. She could smell the bubbly on his breath, suddenly feeling her own pulse rise a bit. The zipper slipped quickly up, the dress fitted snuggly around her curves.

He adjusted the back straps a bit, smoothing them out, before quietly giving her an “All done.”

Her stomach did flip flops, but she blamed it on the champagne. She did drink it on an empty stomach.

“Thanks,” she said just as quietly before turning around.

She didn’t notice him catching glances at the finished product. Dani was too focused on his eye-level tie being askew. Reaching up to adjust it, he smiled down at her.

“Thanks,” he returned as she gently patted him on the chest, feeling the smooth fabric of his navy suit under her fingertips.

“OK, so I’m thinking these with these?” Nat bustled into the room, holding a pair of crystal earrings with a dainty necklace and giving the pair a once over.

“You’re the expert, I trust you,” Dani replied, making the redhead smile.

They were out the door in five minutes, only a little late to the start of the party. Fashionably late, Dani would claim to her brother, who was not as impressed at the trio not being prompt. But she ignored it, grabbing three flutes of champagne from a nearby server and passing two to Clint and Nat.

“Cheers to teamwork,” the brunette chuckled, tilting her glass towards theirs.

Tony let them have their brief moment, not knowing they had already gone through a bottle upstairs, before swiftly guiding them towards the man of the hour. “Hey, Capsicle, I’ve got some party crashers here, think I should keep ‘em?” Tony called out to the blond, already engaged in a conversation near the bar.

The Captain smiled at the trio, lifting his glass in mock cheers.

“Cap, happy birthday, man,” Clint strode up first, shaking his hand.

“Thanks, Barton. Romanoff,” he greeted with a nod.

“Captain,” she said with a smile and a clap on the side of his arm.

“Happy birthday, Captain,” Dani said warmly, letting Steve open his arms and lean in for the hug with a smile on his face.

“Thank you. You look lovely,” he said kindly into her ear, giving a little squeeze. “Pepper told me you got called into the office. I’m glad you could make it.”

She chuckled, “Rumlow’s team keeps me on my toes.”

“Well, I’m glad they didn’t keep you too long,” he said with a grin. “I see you’ve already met the bar,” he added, tilting his chin towards their glasses in hand.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Nat chuckled.

Dani zoned out of the conversation to analyze the room. It was a full house, decked in patriotic streamers, balloons, and lights. The guest list was Tony’s little black book, with a few notable Avenger additions. It wasn’t long before she spotted a familiar face in the crowd. She excused herself from the group by the bar and wove through the crowd, clutching the bottom of her dress to avoid stepping her heels through the fabric.

“Is that?” She heard him before she saw him. “Dani! You look amazing. Where have you been?” Rhodey’s bright smile shone at her as he peeled his eyes away from whatever conversation she had interrupted.

He pulled her into a warm bearhug, and she chuckled, “You don’t look so bad yourself. How have you been?”

“You know, keeping busy,” he said with a smile. “What about you? Back in the big apple?”

She nodded, “Yep, Tony’s thrilled to have someone else to bother.”

He laughed knowingly, “Well, now it’s up to you to keep him in line.”

“I am so not ready for that job description.”

She spent a bit catching up with him, happy to hear he’d been enjoying his work. Eventually, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and showed herself to the bar, ready for a top-up.

“Can I get a gin and tonic?” She said to the bartender, carefully placing a five-dollar bill in the tip jar.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Clint drawled, sidling up next to her at the bar. “Staying out of trouble?”

She hummed, putting a playfully pensive look on her face, “Actually, I think trouble just found me.”

He shot her a scandalized look before breaking into a grin. She watched as he observed the crowd, getting a better look at him in a suit and tie. It was nice seeing him like this; the typically scruffy archer cleaned up well, after all. Grabbing the drink off the bar, she took a sip and leaned on a nearby cruiser table, Clint followed.

“Are you chaperoning me now?” She asked him with a wink. “You know there are no STRIKE boys here tonight.”

“Well, you never know who’s up to no good,” he tried to defend, but could barely keep a straight face.

“You and Nat are about all the ‘no good’ I can handle,” she muttered.

An arm slung around her waist and pulled her away from her conversation, almost toppling her drink in the process.

“Has Clint told you how good you look yet?” Nat purred from behind her.

The redhead took her hand and spun her in place. Dani followed through with the motion, albeit with a grin and a roll of her eyes. She was pretty sure, and kind of glad, Clint couldn’t even hear her comment over the music. He generally had to turn his hearing aids down at these kinds of events.

“It’s just a flashy dress and make-up. Lipstick on a pig,” the brunette joked, brushing it off.

The spy huffed, giving her a stern look, “Don’t you dare talk about my friend like that.”

Clint was still oblivious to the conversation, keeping a watchful eye on the party-goers. It was time for the fireworks anyway. She could see them setting up on the balcony outside.

Lost in red, white, and blue flashes, Dani barely noticed the arm at her waist had changed owners.

But she didn’t mind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now back to our regularly scheduled angsty slow burn.

** October 2, 2012 **

“Thought you would’ve taken today off.”

Clearly already at the tail end of his workout, Clint was unwrapping his hands, grimacing slightly as the brunette walked in. It was the day after her annual assessment, the one she’d spent all summer training for, and she had walked into the training room hoping to tune out her thoughts.

Dani didn’t really know how to respond to that, feeling there was more to his question than he was letting on.

“I mean, you deserve it,” he added, sounding a little warmer and making her feel better. “You did damn well out there for someone with no military background.”

Her eyes crinkled as she searched his face for the “but.”

There had to be a “but” coming.

Was that pride in his voice?

“I had a good teacher,” she replied with a smile that he mirrored. “I’m still a little wound up, though,” she admitted, rubbing the back of her neck.

In other words, Dani didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts today.

She had barely slept that night. Between analyzing each tiny mistake she made the day before and her aching ribs, she had a hell of a time getting to sleep. The doctor woke this morning aching and itching for a workout to take her mind off things.

“That’s normal,” Clint said, unbinding his right hand and looking pensive. “I didn’t get a chance to ask you yesterday, but where did you learn to shoot like that?”

Her heart skipped a beat at the question, not realizing Clint had been watching her at the range and not just hand-to-hand like she assumed. Agents didn’t always know who was in the audience; anyone could attend if they had high enough clearance. Apparently, the advanced evaluations were considered quality HQ entertainment, at least according to STRIKE team.

“That’s a long story,” she sighed, hoping he’d drop it.

She tried to focus on stretching her hamstrings, pulling at her foot while leaning against a wall, suppressing a grimace in the process. Her sides were still very sore from the day before.

“I got time.”

She internally groaned, knowing she wasn’t getting out of this one. She shifted legs, taking her right toe heal into her grasp. There was that rib pain again. She tried to knead it out while making it look like she was just itching. It was hard to do without hissing.

“Short version: One of my mom’s exes growing up used to take me to the range,” she explained, voice a little tighter than usual at the thought. Looking down at the ground was the only thing she could do to tamp down the memory, as she added, “Taught me everything I know.”

“Ex-military?” He queried with a furrowed brow.

She nodded with a smile, but the corners of her lips didn’t quite cooperate. She hoped he didn’t call her on it.

“No wonder you never took up our offers to help you prep,” he murmured, eyes focussed and moving onto his left-hand wrap. “You gave the boys the shock of their life,” he sounded a little proud.

Dani grinned, feeling better knowing STRIKE was shaken up at the show. She hadn’t even really meant to show off; it had been a while since she shot last. But once she gripped the gun in her grip, the smell of gunpowder in her nose, it turned out shooting was like riding a bike for her.

It had been oddly therapeutic after her hand-to-hand assessment.

Clint’s left hand was just about unwrapped, and she was getting ready to wrap up the conversation when he came to the end of the roll, revealing splotchy purple knuckles.

Dani gaped and motioned toward his hand, “What the hell happened to you?”

He scowled and shrunk, caught.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it,” Clint said, shoving his wraps into his gym bag and throwing on a hoodie.

He was halfway zipped in the blink of an eye, suddenly in a hurry.

“Sure doesn’t look like nothing,” she said a little more calmly, breaking her stretch as she crossed the gap and stepped in front of him. “Have you had that looked at yet?”

He shook his head, and she grabbed the left sleeve of his sweater gingerly. He didn’t pull back. Pulling the fabric aside, she traced what she could find of his knuckles in the swollen lump with her fingertips. He hissed, muscles clenching and twitching under her hands.

What had gotten into him? Sure, Clint regularly showed up with random scrapes and bruises, but he usually went straight to medical for something this bad.

“Yeah, you need to get this checked out,” the brunette said softly, looking up at him.

She didn’t want to scare him off, but she did want to give him a piece of her mind.

“I will,” he conceded, blue eyes meeting hers. “Promise.”

“And you sure as hell shouldn’t have been working out with it,” she scolded in a slightly harsher tone. She paused, considering the colour and swelling, “It looks fresh. Is this from today or yesterday?”

He kept his eyes on his gym bag, too ashamed or scared to meet her eyes. She couldn’t tell.

“Silent treatment? Fine. So, who am I going to see sporting a shiner today?” She sighed, suddenly feeling like a school principal assigning detention.

Still no bite. Dani really didn’t like not being able to read her friend. Her heart thumped in her chest, thinking of all the possibilities as to why he wouldn’t tell her. If it was classified, he’d just say so; he’d done it before.

So what was so bad that he hadn’t gotten it checked out at medical and didn’t want her to know?

Something clicked.

“Wait, was this because of my eval?”

She could see him grit his teeth, jaw flexing, arms restlessly shifting in his hoodie pockets. He was still as a statue, cold and rigid. That was it. She hit a nerve.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s handled,” he growled, grabbing his bag and leaving.

She grabbed his right bicep, attempting to stop him, to get any sort of reaction out of him, but his eyes stayed glued on the ground. She was as close to fuming as she had been in a long time. Did he do this  _ for her _ ? To defend  _ her _ honour? Or something equally stupid and chivalrous?

“What the fuck does that mean?” She asked him, voice sounding a little too desperate as she tried to get him to look her in the eyes.

A knock at the training room door scared the hell out of the brunette, and she jumped at the sound. Both sets of narrowed eyes looked over to see who was disturbing them.

“Barton, Dr. Hak wants to see you in medical,” Nat was standing in the doorway, suited up for a workout.

She gave them both a once over, as if not sure how she expected to find them. She looked oddly disappointed at the result. Clint merely grunted in reply, hurrying out the door before Dani could get a word in. She stared at the redhead with a furrowed brow.

“Do you want to talk?” Nat got straight to the point, staring back at her friend through the mirror as she reached for hand weights.

The doctor could see her friend carefully studying her face, eyeing her body language. It was the same look she’d been giving her since the Incident. She sighed, a little over getting the third degree when Clint was running around with a busted hand and no good reason.

“I would if I knew what just happened,” the brunette replied cooly.

The redhead tilted her head, “I was asking more about yesterday.”

There was that gut punch. She couldn’t understand why these two were so fixated on her assessment. It was over, she did it. Why couldn’t they just be happy with the outcome like she was?

“It was fine. I passed, apparently with flying colours,” she said dismissively, reaching over to grab some weights.

She avoided looking at her friend, focussing her attention on the weights and her form in the mirror. Her biceps screamed at her, but she kept pushing, trying to drown out her heart thumping in her chest. She wasn’t hiding anything, so why did this feel like an interrogation?

And why did she feel like she was about to get caught?

“Dani,” she said quieter, “You know you can tell me anything.”

Realizing she wasn’t about to give her what she was looking for, she continued.

“Listen, I’ve seen a lot of those evals,” she said, tone edging into motherly territory. “I know what constitutes a normal assessment. And that was anything but normal.”

Her voice was soft and reassuring. Somehow the brunette could hear it over the thudding in her ears.

“That was not OK,” she continued on firmly. “That’s not on you, and that shouldn’t have happened.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dani breathed, setting her weights back on the rack and giving up on her workout.

The brunette reached for her water bottle, hand shaking slightly. The whole point of those things was to get beat up and walk away from it. Why were they treating her like she was this little china doll? She handled it, she sucked it up, and she was done.

“Dani, I saw that look on your face. I’ve seen that look before.”

Dani’s throat suddenly felt very tight, trying not to overthink what she meant by that very coded message.

“I don’t know what you saw, Nat,” the brunette seethed before she could stop herself. “Nothing happened. I would know. I was there too.”

Her friend dropped the hand weights and looked at her, searching her face for some scrap of understanding, of recognition.

“Dani, the bastard was running his mouth in the locker room after,” her voice was creeping up in volume, trying to get her point across. “He was gloating about how taking you down was even better than they planned. He was bragging… about getting to feel you up,” she said the last sentence barely above a whisper as if she wasn’t sure how Dani would react.

She winced, shoving back thoughts of what happened the previous day.

Did she miss something between the blows? Was she trying to convince herself it didn’t happen?

“You can’t blame Clint for what he did,” Nat added, voice floating over her thoughts.

Dani didn’t know what to think anymore, but she toed the line anyway, wanting to just walk away from the whole conversation.

“He was just talking shit. It was hand-to-hand combat, Nat. I was going to get roughed up regardless,” the doctor shot back dismissively. “I don’t want you guys jumping on every asshole who has a mouth on them.”

The redhead looked at her with more concern, if that was possible. She was giving her  _ that look. Pity. _

“Dani…” 

It sent a fire through her gut. She hated that look. She hated that expression of weakness and vulnerability. That wasn’t her, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to accept it. 

She wasn’t done. 

“I’m a doctor working with some of the most driven people on the planet. Some people aren’t going to like me. That’s reality,” she spat out. “And sure, sometimes I get treated worse because I’m a woman, but this is my job, Nat. Being able to defend myself, not having other people fight my battles for me.” 

She paused, trying to regain her breath and a coherent train of thought that wasn’t just a stream of swear words. 

There was a moment of tense silence before Dani steadied her voice and her thoughts enough to continue. 

“And so what? Even if you were right, which you’re not, I’m not going to sit here and cry about it,” she said a little quieter. 

“Dani, you don’t have to,” Nat said soothingly, looking a little taken aback at the outburst. “We just want you to know that we’re here for you, and if you want us to, we’ll do whatever we can to help.” 

She shook her head, still unconvinced that the whole thing wasn’t just a case of locker room talk. It was time to shut the conversation down before she said something she shouldn’t. 

Before she remembered something she didn’t want to. 

“It was nothing, Nat. Can we just drop it?” 

She nodded, brows still narrowed, “Of course.” 

Dani grabbed her phone off a nearby bench. She knew the duo was back to D.C. tomorrow, and while she felt terrible leaving things on a sour note, she wasn’t about to go running after Clint. Not after he pulled that stupid white knight move. 

But she still didn’t want to be a total asshole in all of this. 

“I don’t blame Clint,” she admitted soberly to the redhead as she leaned on the door. “I just don’t like seeing him hurt on my account.” 


	7. Chapter 7

** November 21, 2012 **

A month and a half passed in a blur, and before Dani knew it, it was the day before Thanksgiving. Something about this time of year sparked something in her. It was akin to homesickness, but the doctor was a little fuzzy on the concept of “home.” The air of self-reflection was starting to hit her hard, and she was feeling a little more nostalgic than usual.

Looking back, it  _ had _ been an unusual year.

A new office, new job, new living situation. Things had changed a lot in the past twelve months. It almost felt like she was living an entirely different life. The only constant from last year’s experience was that she was once again on call at work, and Tony and Pepper were back in Malibu, leaving Dani to fend for herself at the office during the holiday.

But first, she had to get through another appointment with Dr. Edwards.

The monthly visits weren’t getting more comfortable. If anything, Dani seemed to frustrate the man if he was even able to show emotion. The line of questioning seemed to become more and more intimate, with weird tangents and follow up questions. It still felt raw, personal. It felt  _ off _ for something that was supposed to be helping her do her job.

But, it was mandated, and she couldn’t stop the sessions without his approval, so here she was.

Deep breath, three knocks on the door and…

“Ah, Dr. Fisher, come on in,” Dr. Edwards was sitting in his usual armchair, notebook at the ready and a teacup on the coffee table. “All set for Thanksgiving?”

She gave a half-smile as she plopped herself onto the couch, “I’m actually on call, so I’ll just be kicking around the office.”

Straightening out her skirt out a bit, she tried to sit up straighter, noticing his stare.

“No family time this holiday?” His eyebrows were raised above his glasses, peering at her with his pen in hand.

“No, unfortunately, my brother’s out of town, so I’ll just have a small dinner with friends,” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, knowing she just opened herself up to a line of questioning.

“Is that typical for your Thanksgiving experience?”

“I don’t know what’s typical anymore,” she gave a nervous chuckle. “But I’m used to making my own plans on Thanksgiving, I guess.”

“And how does that make you feel? That you might not have a typical experience with family?”

She internally groaned. They had been dancing around this line of questioning for the last couple of months, and she’d always stopped it before she could say anything revealing. But here they were, back at it again. She was frustrated by this constant circling back.

Maybe it was time to give him something to work with.

She hadn’t been met with much resistance so far, and as painful as it was trying to open up to someone, she’d prefer it to having to repeat the same lines month after month.

“I guess it makes me feel a little lonely sometimes,” she admitted quietly, meeting his gaze.

Half of her wished could have taken back the words as soon as they left her mouth. The other half was just as ready to finally let go and give in to the conversation Dr. Edwards was apparently dying to have.

“Would you say that you’re comfortable being on your own?”

It wasn’t the worst option.

In truth, she was happy to volunteer to be on call, knowing many of her med bay teammates had families at home. They had children, parents and sometimes even grandparents that they were hoping to host. And Dani was OK with being alone.

“It was all I knew for most of my life,” she stated simply, not mincing words. “It’s standard at this point.”

Expecting him to go in hard and dig deep, she was surprised with his softball of a follow-up.

“When you feel that way, do you tend to reach out to others or talk to people around you?”

“Sometimes, but I usually don’t like other people feeling bad for me, or like they have to try to find a solution for me,” she blurted out before she could assess the damage.

It felt like such a safe question that the words tumbled out of her mouth too naturally. She almost didn’t realize she was speaking to a particular experience, one she had been trying so hard to forget.

Why was she still so stuck on it?

He hummed a little in the chair across from her. Flipping through the notebook on his lap, it looked like he was looking for something. He settled on a page, skimming the lines and making some additional notes. A heartbeat rising to her ears, she was nervous. She spent most of her sessions watching Dr. Edwards for reactions, and she knew it wasn’t a good sign when he did this.

“Just to bridge this with some things we’ve talked about previously,” she squirmed, clenching her jaw slightly. “Do you find yourself rejecting people’s help often?”

“What?”

She couldn’t stop herself saying the first thing that came to her mind.

“Do you find it hard to accept assistance from the people around you?”

Her brain stopped working, unable to wrap itself around the question and its relevance.

“Sometimes,” she started, pausing a little too long to think of an answer. “Uh—“

“Do you find yourself wanting to hide your true emotions or reactions for other peoples’ benefit?”

Well, OK, Doc, she thought to herself. Let’s not beat around the bush here.

“I mean, that’s part of working at SHIELD, no? Or just experiencing life in general? You can’t just go around expressing every little feeling that pops into your head,” she said, a little too indignantly.

Dani knew she was too cavalier with her answer, but she also knew that she was very much over having this same discussion month after month. These sessions were useless, circular and jumbled. She walked out of them more confused than she ever walked in. Still searching for some ulterior motive to these talks, trying to figure out precisely what he was trying to get out of her, Dani just couldn’t puzzle out the answer.

He stopped, set his pen down and looked at her from over his glasses, “Dr. Fisher, I’m sorry, but I have to ask this.”

Ears thumping with the sound of her own heartbeat, the brunette could barely hear the words coming out of his mouth. In all the time she’d been watching him during her sessions, he’d never given her this sort of look before.

“Have you ever considered or thought about harming yourself?”

No.

_ No, no, no, no, no _ .

She wasn’t going there.

“You have my file,” she said as firmly as her voice would allow.

Dani could barely hear herself over the blood pumping in her ears. Willing herself not to pass out, not to show weakness, she was grasped at straws with her emotions, trying to find anything she could hold onto. She could feel the anger coursing through her.

“But I’d like to hear it from you,” adding quickly as if to save himself, “If you’re comfortable talking about it.”

“I’m not,” she snapped.

They were supposed to stop a line of questioning if you were uncomfortable, weren’t they?

Wasn’t that something regular therapists did?

“You have to know that if I feel you’re at risk of self-harm, Dr. Fisher, it is my obligation to report that to SHIELD.”

Her heart dropped into her stomach. She had to give him something.

Think. What does he want to hear?

“Well, I can  _ report _ that I am not currently feeling that way,” she said through gritted teeth, unable to say the word out loud.

That was the truth, though. She was furious.

“If that changes—“

“—I’ll be sure to let you know,” she finished for him, jaw still tense.

She couldn’t even remember the walk home. So stuck in her head, the brunette must have managed the walk home on autopilot. It took her stepping into the lobby of Stark Tower before she realized where she was.

Why did she have to open her big mouth? Not her brightest move, trying her hand at talking back to the person in charge of whether or not she remained employed.

“Home, please, JARVIS,” she said in a scratchy voice.

The tears were already piling up and blurring her vision, and she was thankful the AI routed the elevator without a word. Though JARVIS had already unlocked her door, her hands were shaking so hard, she could barely turn the handle.

A couple of tears slipped down her cheeks out of frustration, but she finally managed to open it and quickly shut the door behind her. Dani slid down the front door, landing in a sobbing heap on the floor. Throat tight, gut-churning, she couldn’t stop the heavy gasps coming out of her chest.

Cradling her head between her knees, she let out the only thing she could think of that would release the tension building up in her body: a guttural scream.

“Dr. Fisher, you seem to be in distress. Would you like me to contact Mr. Stark?” Dani could hear JARVIS’s voice overhead.

The screaming did help relieve her of the gasping breaths. She tried to calm herself for just a moment, just long enough to tell the AI not to notify her brother.

“No, thank you, JARVIS. I-I’ll be fine,” she said, voice cracking and breathless as she paced out the words.

“Very well, Dr. Fisher. Please let me know if I can assist at all.”

She sat there for a while, head leaning back on the door, eyes closed. It was only when darkness overtook her suite that she realized how much time had passed. She wiped away whatever tears were left with the palms of her hands.

Staring at her phone, she navigated to her contacts list. Her thumb hovered over Clint’s number for what seemed like forever.

No, she decided, tucking it back into her pocket. He shouldn’t come back into her life for the sole purpose of dealing with bullshit she had gotten herself into.

She had to be a big girl now.


	8. Chapter 8

** November 24, 2011 **

“First Thanksgiving at the office, Dr. Fisher?”

The Triskelion was a ghost town. The enormous structure looked like it was straight out of a horror movie during the holidays. There might as well have been tumbleweeds blowing through the vast halls.

Agent Bobbi Morse set down her tray on the dining hall table right across from Dani. They were the only two people in the massive, echoing space, filled with rows and rows of long tables. She pulled up a seat, flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder and smiled, thankful for the company.

“Yeah,” Dani admitted. “My brother’s in California for the holiday, and I got stuck being on-call. Perks of being new.”

Bobbi had been rehabbing for the last month after a rough work accident. Miserable being away from the field and stuck with a desk job, Dani had gotten to know her quite well. Twice-weekly session small-talk will do that to you with the worst of people, but thankfully the agent and the doctor hit it off like old friends.

If nothing else, their chats made appointments go by a lot faster.

“Tough break,” she said with a slight frown. “I would kill to be on a beach right now.”

“You’re telling me,” the doctor chuckled. “How about you? On-call too?”

She nodded, frown deepening, “Someone has to keep up with the paperwork, and I don’t really have anyone to go home to, so I volunteered.”

“Well, at least we can be miserable together,” the doctor joked, and they both laughed.

** November 22, 2012 **

Miserable together. Dani couldn’t think of a more apt description of the handful of agents and staff housed in New York SHIELD HQ on Thanksgiving, never mind her current state of mind.

She had managed to hide out in her office distraction-free for the day, but no matter how hard she tried to focus on the paperwork in front of her, she couldn’t stop thinking about how she was going to get through tonight’s dinner.

Friendsgiving.

It was supposed to be a lovely little evening with the few who were in the city for the holidays, but now it was looking like a bad idea, to say the least. Yesterday’s emotional burden was still weighing heavily on the doctor, and it felt like no matter how much she tried to reframe it in her head as standing up for herself, she still felt like an idiot.

An idiot that might have risked her job.

That said, she’d heard no word from Hill or Fury. No furious email sitting in her inbox or voicemail on her phone. She was pretty sure she was in the clear, but the worry still lingered in the back of her mind. She’d been trying to shake it off all day.

She sighed, looking down at her watch. 4:45 PM. Back to worrying about whether she had made enough side dishes and desserts, wondering if it was worth trying to scrounge something together as soon as she got home.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, bringing her out of Martha Stewart mode.

_ Happy Thanksgiving! Sorry we can’t be there to eat all of your cheesecake. Say hi to the boys for us. _

The brunette softened at Nat’s message but frowned slightly at the word ‘we.’ She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed that the message hadn’t come from Clint. They’d barely seen each other lately, which wasn’t unusual. But after their blow-out last month, the archer had been especially evasive.

Or at least, that’s what it seemed like.

In truth, Dani just wanted her friend back.

Shoving aside the thought, she started to put away her things and pack her bag. She slipped on her wool coat and scarf, catching a ride down to the elevator’s lobby. The walk home was quick, her head still floating around ideas of salad dressings and side dishes, trying to block out anything else.

The last thing she needed was to be a black cloud on what was supposed to be a nice dinner.

Dressed in jeans, a sweater and a leather jacket, the baseball cap on his head didn’t do much to camouflage him from the doctor — she could spot that sharp jawline anywhere. She could see a bottle of wine and a white bakery box in his lap and smiled softly at the thought of him not being able to come empty-handed.

He was too immersed in something on his phone to notice her walk up to him.

“Captain, you’re early,” Dani exclaimed as he grinned at the greeting.

His smile turned sheepish, rising to stand and nudging the box, “I just got back from picking this up and wanted to see if you needed any help with prep.”

“Well, come on up. I’ll put you to work,” the brunette said with a wide grin, waving him into the elevator. “I’ll apologize in advance. My place isn’t nearly as nice as Tony’s. Or yours, I’m sure.”

He chuckled knowingly. Tony had put him up in the tower while he tried to find a long-term place in Brooklyn. Last she heard, it was turning out to be a long search, but Tony didn’t seem to mind. He had enough spare suites tucked away, and Dani had a suspicion it helped him feel a little less lonely in the city.

“As long as it’s big enough for the three of us, I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

They arrived at her floor with a little bit of small talk. She unlocked the door and let them in, quickly rushing to put away some things she had left out on the dining table. Her face felt a little hot at the thought of him seeing her apartment in less than perfect condition.

She hadn’t even thought about cleaning up before she invited him in, too eager to have his help with prep.

“Sorry! I completely meant to tidy this up last night,” she apologized with a blush, hurrying to put away the mail and spare papers that sat on the table. “I haven’t done much with the place, to be honest. It isn’t much, but it’s mine,” she rambled a bit, trying to explain the minimalist aesthetic.

In other words, why the place seemed so empty.

Steve took a look around before glancing back at her, “It reminds me of my place, actually.”

“Not a big decorator, huh?” she joked, knowing the lack of photos and decor was usually the first thing people noticed. “I’m so used to not staying in one place long that I never really get up the nerve to personalize places.”

He gave a warm smile as if he was pleased the usually guarded doctor shared a personal anecdote with him.

“Well, I imagine Tony’s not kicking you out any time soon.”

She shrugged, “Probably not. But, with him, who knows.”

Dani pulled out the already prepared ingredients for the salad and put Steve to work while she dressed and got some of the veggies ready for the oven. The turkey was sitting in there already, having been reheating under JARVIS’ watchful eye. Steve was a polite conversationalist, and she appreciated having his help.

It was nice to not be alone with her thoughts for once.

“So, Tony mentioned you used to be at the D.C. office. How did you like it out there?” He asked as he crumbled goat cheese over the salad bowl.

She smiled softly, warm memories of her time at the Triskelion peeking through what had been a cloudy mood.

“I loved D.C. It’s just a really great place to live. There was always something to do on the weekends when I was free,” she replied. “And it’s the central office, so I got to know and see people a lot more. Have you been?”

He hesitated a little, gauging her response and rubbing the back of his neck.

“No,” Steve said finally. “I’ve, uh, actually been asked about whether I’m interested in doing some work out there.”

She beamed, glad he was thinking about getting out on his own. Dani could tell, even from their short conversation today, that he’d been a little restless. She could see why; he was so used to always being on the go that not being on missions was more challenging for him than anything else.

“Ah, no way. That’d be a great opportunity for you,” she added quickly, “If you’re interested in that.”

He grinned, seemingly happy with her reaction, but was a knock at the door cut him off before he could reply.

“Oh, that must be Bruce.”

She opened the door to find the doctor holding a bouquet of flowers and a salad bowl. Wavy hair wild, his crinkled eyes showed a genuine smile.

“Bruce, those are lovely,” Dani said, taking the flowers. “Come on in. Feel free to set that down on the table.”

She waved him in and set out to find a vase while the men chatted. She searched for the vase she used the last time Tony sent apology flowers — ah, bottom cupboard, right.

“Bruce, how are you doing?”

“Good, Steve, thanks. Keeping busy?”

“Trying to.”

Dani took a moment to put the flowers in water before grabbing the side dishes from the counters and moving them to the dining table. Steve following suit without needing to be asked. Thankfully the table had been set earlier in the week when she had done most of her prep for the day. Grabbing the wine bottles from the fridge, it was time to go full hostess.

“Red, white or beer?” She asked the pair and poured out glasses with their preferences.

“Dani, this looks amazing,” Bruce said in awe of the table full of food.

“Are you sure there aren’t more people coming?” Steve chirped.

“Funny, but Tony warned me you two are black holes, so I may have over-prepared. And ah, I cheated a little with the turkey,” she admitted bashfully. “That was ordered, but all the sides and most of the desserts I made my hand during the week.”

“Sure beats whatever take-out I would have had today,” Steve said with a smile. “Thank you for doing this, Dani. It’s really nice.”

“It’s nice to actually have company over,” the doctor said softly. “I’m happy to do it.”

“Well, how about a toast?” Bruce said with a grin and a raise of his glass. “To good friends and good food.”

“And a great host,” Steve added.

“Here, here.”

The mains were put away, and dessert was just about to be served, so Dani took a couple moments to wash up some of the dishes as the coffee brewed. Steve was in the middle of telling the two of them about a disaster of a blind date he’d been on when Bruce looked over and realized what she was doing.

“Hey, no, you shouldn’t have to clean up after doing all that,” he said, starting to get up. “Please, let me.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Bruce. I’m nearly done,” she chided, warm at the thought of him wanting to help… and maybe the wine. “I was just enjoying hearing about someone else’s dating woes. Distracts me from my own,” she joked.

“You must have some interesting ones,” Bruce pressed a little with a wry smile.

“Hm,” she mused, more than willing to share  _ some _ of her cringe-worthy experiences for a laugh. “Between the wannabe pick-up artists, the guy who tried to sneak his mom on our date, and the guy who threatened to deport me if I didn’t continue seeing him, it’s been a while since I’ve been brave enough to go back to dating.”

Bruce snorted, nearly spitting out his wine, “No!”

“Oh yes,” the doctor said with a sad smile.

“Sorry, you’re going to have to explain the first one,” Steve said with an amused expression and a crooked brow.

Well, Dani never thought she’d be teaching Steve what a pick-up artist is… never mind the definition of “negging,” but here they were. The next few hours were filled with more storytelling and pop culture references than even she could keep track of.

“Well, I think it’s about that time for me,” Bruce said finally, plopping his wine glass back on the table. “Thank you for hosting this, Dani. The food was amazing, as was the company.”

“It was nothing, really. Can I pack something up for you?” She motioned to the plates of food behind her and wiggled her eyebrows as she added, “There’s still some cheesecake left.”

He smiled, “How could I say no to cheesecake?”

She packed up some leftovers for Bruce to take with him, as well as one for Steve.

“Steve, a pleasure,” Bruce said with an outstretched hand.

“We should do this more often,” Steve replied, shaking it.

Dani gave Bruce a half hug and handed him a take-out container, “Thanks so much for coming.”

Steve stuck around for a bit, helping the brunette clear the dining table while Dani reorganized the fridge. It was nice having someone else over, especially someone who had as many stories to share as Steve. She could listen to him for hours, just recounting missions and talking about what life was like back in the twenties and thirties.

Dani never really had to share her space, so having Steve here with her, flitting around and tidying up, was lovely. It felt right, domestic, almost, being comfortable enough to let someone else help. A nagging thought kept crossing her mind: guilt, at enjoying having a guest help with something she should be responsible for.

“Thanks for helping, Steve,” she said, wiping down the now-cleared countertops. “You really didn’t have to.”

He waved his hand to say that it was nothing, but it still seemed like he had something to say. They shared a glance from across the kitchen island, and maybe it was the four glasses of wine, but Dani could swear that she saw that mother hen look in his eyes. Tony and Nat had given her that same look a lot since the Incident, but somehow Steve’s version hit her differently.

“Listen, I know Tony and Pepper aren’t around all the time,” he started softly, holding her gaze. “If you ever need some time outside the tower, you're always welcome to reach out if you want to go for coffee or dinner. I’m only a few floors down.”

Her face went warm at the gesture. That’s all it was, she was sure, just a gesture.

But still, it was sweet.

“Thanks, Steve. It, uh, it goes both ways. If you need anything…” She trailed off, feeling stupid about the reply and not really knowing what  _ she _ could offer the super solider. “It was really nice having you guys over.”

“It was,” he said, pulling her into a hug.

She softened into the warm embrace, squeezing him back as her stomach fluttered at the contact. He pulled back and gave her a playfully stern look and a finger wag.

“And I meant what I said. I’m only four floors down.”


	9. Chapter 9

** December 20, 2012 **

It was 5 AM when Dani got the call.

Arm reaching over to feel for her phone in the pitch-black room, she groaned. She had been trying to get a little sleep before her morning flight to California. Tony and Pepper were expecting her for her annual holiday visit, and she was expecting beaches and sunshine.

She wasn’t expecting this.

There was no hello, no preface, just, “Happy’s in the hospital” as soon as she put the phone to her ear.

Tony’s voice on the other end of the line was fully charged, shaking and firm. Something in his tone made her grip the phone so tight her knuckles turned white, and suddenly her brain was firing on all cylinders. Sheets flew off the bed as she sat up and flicked on a lamp.

“What, what happened? Is he OK?” She croaked, vocal cords still in the process of waking up. “Are  _ you _ OK?”

Her mind was going a mile a minute, and Tony’s silence on the other end of the line was freaking her out.

If Tony didn’t know what to say, it couldn’t be good.

“I don’t know,” He admitted in a low, scraggly voice. “I’m on my way to go see him now. I… I want you to take the jet, kid.”

This was unusual. Tony  _ never _ let her take the jet. Something about company funding and having to work it around Pepper’s busy schedule. Hell, in her years as Tony’s sister (officially), she’d only seen the inside of the plane twice, and once was just a tour while it sat parked on the tarmac.

This whole conversation was something out of the Twilight Zone.

Apparently, this was just her life now, and she was due for the next episode.

“Are you sure? I have a flight booked,” she checked, unsure if he really meant it.

Her original reservation left in a few hours, so it wouldn’t be that long. Why was he so worried about her flying commercial?

“Something isn’t sitting right with this, and I just want you to be safe,” Tony said with almost a pleading tone voice. “Listen, kid, it’s already set up. Grab the jet at LaGuardia at seven-thirty, and I’ll have someone pick you up at the airport, OK?”

“OK,” she confirmed breathlessly.

Her mind whirled, and her eyes snapped to the clock on her bedside table. She’d have to leave soon to make it to LaGuardia in time.

“I want you to take the driver from Stark Tower, and I need you to keep me posted at every step,” this was big brother voice, not Tony voice.

She knew the difference, and the difference scared her.

“Tony, are you OK?” She asked quietly, genuinely concerned about her brother.

He was silent for a moment like he hadn’t been asked that in a while.

“I’ll be better when you’re here. Talk soon.”

And that was it.

For the next few minutes, Dani was a flurry of movement, darting around her room to get things together for her earlier than expected flight.

She shot off a quick text to Pepper to make sure she was OK and confirm the change of arrival plans, because who knew if Tony had even told her he’d reached out. Her heartbeat settled down a notch with Pepper’s prompt reply wishing her a safe trip and reminding her to text Tony when she got into the car.

It wasn’t until she had all her things together in the lobby of Stark Tower that she even thought to pull out her phone and try to piece together what happened. And then it made sense.

The entire car ride to the airport was just article after article about the Mandarin. Sure, she’d heard of a couple of the previous attacks, but she never thought it would ever hit this close to home. She was so sucked into the theories, crime scene details and interviews that it took the driver opening the door to realize she’d arrived.

“Get in.”

Tony was waiting for her on the tarmac looking like he hadn’t slept since she’d seen him last. Motioning to the car behind him, he swiftly grabbed her bags and threw them into the back seat before she could even process what was happening. Dani was shocked to see her brother there, thinking he’d still be at the hospital with Happy.

But Tony was straight to business, opening the passenger door for her when she took too long to follow his instructions.

They were on the road without another word, with Dani stealing glances at him from the corner of her eye. His entire body was tense, shoulders hunched by his ears as he stared at the road. The bags under his eyes were even deeper than when she last saw him, and he looked like he might bite her head off if she said anything.

She was scared to set him off, but she had to know.

“How is Happy?” She asked quietly once they’d been on the road for a few minutes.

He raked a hand through his hair, a tell she’d seen him often do when he was nervous. This ran deeper than nerves, though, she could tell with the tremor in his fingers, his tight grip on the wheel, the way he bit his lip to silence himself.

He was struggling.

“He’s…” he sighed, have a hard time finding the words. “He’s not awake yet.”

She nodded, not wanting to ask more of him, and stayed silent the rest of the drive.

Pepper was waiting for them outside the house when they arrived, a tiny smile, more out of relief than anything, gracing her face. The car had barely stopped when, in one swift move, Tony strode out of the car and wrapped Pepper into a hug, gripping tighter than he meant. Pepper rubbed his back, a bewildered look on her face matched Dani’s expression as he held her.

As quickly as he latched on, he was off again, walking into the house without a word and leaving both women outside.

“Is he OK?” She asked Pepper quietly when she was sure he was out of earshot.

Pepper shook her head, “It-It’s not just Happy. He’s been in rough shape since New York.”

She didn’t need to say anymore. The worried look in her eyes was all that Dani needed to know. She gave Pepper a hug, a silent message of solidarity. Pepper took her hands in her own, and the corners of her lips turned up slightly.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said after a couple seconds of searching.

“Me too,” the doctor agreed before turning back to get her bags from the car’s back seat.

She settled in one of their guest rooms, leaving her fully packed luggage in the corner, untouched. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she took her hand in her hands, elbows resting on her knees. This was the worst she’d ever seen him, and she had seen him after Afghanistan.

‘Who would have guessed this wreck of a human being would have to try to comfort her brother?’ She thought bitterly to herself. She was barely in a place to help herself; how the hell was she supposed to manage Tony at near rock bottom?

A knock at the door brought her back to her senses.

“You’re just like him, you know,” Pepper said from the doorway with a half-smile. “You’re both too proud to show how you’re really feeling and too stubborn to ask for help.”

“Something tells me you haven’t given Tony this same speech,” Dani replied, not taking her apparent frustration personally.

The strawberry-blonde shook her head, sitting on the bed next to her.

“He’s so obsessed with keeping us safe that I think he’s gone too far. It’s those suits, Dani. I can’t tear him away from them. I can’t get through to him,” her voice was deathly quiet. “He’s been having trouble sleeping, and a few nights ago, one of his suits attacked us, thinking he was in danger.”

Dani placed a hand on her knee, trying to comfort her as she listened.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore,” Pepper admitted, and Dani could see the tears in her eyes.

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

Pepper gave her a sad smile and put her hand on top of Dani’s. She held it softly, as Dani searched her face, trying to find some hint of her reasoning.

“I know you’ve been dealing with your own stuff,” she replied. “With Phil and work.”

The doctor nodded in concession, “Well, I’m here now. Just tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll help.”

“I think Tony needs to talk with someone,” Pepper said hesitantly. “Maybe, maybe since you were there, he’ll talk to you.”

She squeezed her hand, leaning her head on the brunette’s shoulder.

“I can try.”

She made her way down into the basement, his fortress. Hunched over bits of pieces of a suit Dani couldn’t recognize, she opened the door with a quick command to JARVIS. Setting down the plate on the desk beside him, she could see him watching her from the corner of his eye.

“Hungry?” She asked quietly.

“I don’t remember agreeing to reverse roles here, kid,” Tony joked through the side of his mouth, referring to a similar conversation several months back.

“Well, a little AI told me you hadn’t eaten anything all day, so someone needs to step in,” she quipped, sitting down on the desk next to him.

He set down his screwdriver in defeat, leaning his palms on the desk and look up at the ceiling.

“JARVIS, you traitor.”

“Sorry, sir.”

Reaching over to rest a hand on his shoulder, Dani asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Did Pepper tell you?” He sighed.

“It’s written all over your face, Tony,” Dani said quietly. “We’re both worried about you.”

Scrubbing his face with his hands, he looked at her with those hollow eyes. It was like a punch to her gut, knowing how deep he was in the hole and not knowing how to get him out of it. She wasn’t even sure if her words were getting through to him; it seemed like he had his own worries, his own narrative, going on in his head.

“I couldn’t even keep Happy safe,” he whispered. “It was my fault, you know.”

“No,” Dani argued firmly, trying to keep her voice firm and level. “You can’t put that on yourself, Tony. The Mandarin did this, not you.”

He nodded, looking at the ground, but she was unconvinced. Feeling her eyes on him, he gave up and reached for the sandwich she’d brought down. She felt a little better, knowing he was at least eating. Hopping off the desk, she stood behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

Tony tensed under her for a split second, eventually softening in her grip.

“We’ll get through this.”


	10. Chapter 10

** December 22, 2012 **

“He did  _ what _ ?!”

Pepper’s voice echoed across the house, an exasperated sigh following closely behind. Dani rolled out of her bed, rushing over to see the strawberry blonde staring at a screen with her mouth agape. She clued in just fast enough to hear Tony give out his home address in front of a sea of cameras.

“What did he just do?” She said in a low voice, afraid of the answer.

“Your  _ brother _ ,” Pepper was seething, “just invited a known terrorist over.”

They shared a look.

“Let’s get packing,” Pepper said decisively as if something clicked inside of her. “We can’t stay here.”

Thankfully the doctor was still packed, so she brought her luggage into Pepper’s room to help. Pepper muttered to herself under her breath, seemingly rehearsing, giving Tony a piece of her mind once he got home. Most of it was done by the time they overheard voices on the main level.

Two voices, it seemed. Pepper zipped up the bag she’d been working on and listened attentively.

“Tony?” Pepper called out into the house over her shoulder. “Is somebody there?”

She hauled two of her overnight bags and started to make her way downstairs, leisurely pitching them over the railing on the landing. If she hadn’t been already, Pepper was fuming, and Dani wasn’t about to get in the way of the blow-out that was about to happen.

“Yeah, it’s Maya Hansen. Old botanist pal that I used to know, barely.”

“I’m sorry, with Happy in the hospital, I didn’t know that we were expecting guests… and old girlfriends.”

Dani tuned out at Pepper’s voice, not wanting to listen in on their semi-private spat, resuming packing up Pepper’s things. She was listening for an opening in the conversation, a brief silence that she could slip into the downstairs. Hearing the chatter lower in volume for a moment, she made her way down the stairs, bags in hand.

In a split second, she recognized something flying through the floor to ceiling windows in front of her.

And then the whole house went pitch black.

She lost her footing, thrown back against the stairs she had just walked down with an earth-shattering force. The bags were nowhere to be seen and long forgotten. She could feel the stairs sinking into her back and rib cage, bruising and battering as if in slow motion.

She wasn’t sure how long she was out, but the back of her head throbbed. Reaching to the base of her neck to feel for herself, her hand returned to her line of vision streaked in blood.

She was dazed.

“Move, I’m right behind you.”

Was that Pepper in the suit? Tony near the window? The figures before her were fuzzy around the edges, and the voices muffled. She thought they were talking amongst themselves.

The stairs shifted beneath her, unsteady and moving unnaturally. She had to get off of them, it was the only thought in her head.

“Dani!”

Pepper’s voice called out from the suit by the door, and she scrambled to meet her as pieces of the upper level start tilting towards her, threatening to split from the structure. She was momentarily frozen in time, scared of being engulfed in the falling cement.

No, she’d had this nightmare before, trapped in a battered and broken building. She couldn’t be here right now. Between Midtown and Harlem, Dani was suffocating in the memories of near-misses, convinced that this time she wouldn’t be fortunate enough to walk away from this. She barrelled forward anyway, latching onto Pepper’s iron-clad arm.

“Get her, I’m going to find a way around. Stop stopping. Get them, get outside. Go!”

That was Tony’s voice. She looked back for a split second to see her brother’s terrified expression, she thought of her friends and family, she stared at the ocean in front of her. That’s where they were heading, sliding down toward the toppling floor to ceiling windows. She was done, this was it.

Pepper and suit hauled her and a barely conscious Maya along towards the door, repulsor blasts jolted them through the glass and onto the driveway. Dani watched stunned as giant slabs of cement toppled in front of the door.

She felt like she was witnessing the whole scene from above, weightless, meaningless and unseen. Instead, she was collapsed on the pavement outside, staring hopelessly at the stage in front of them.

“Oh, my God. Tony!” Pepper’s scream pierced through her thoughts as the whole structure inched towards the sea.

The doctor barely noticed the suit fly off of Pepper’s body, piece by piece, bolting into the house. Tony must have called for it, a passing thought and a flicker of hope.

Crackling, crashing, tearing. The noise was all-consuming before the gunfire even started. The distinct sound of bullets sent a jolt through Dani’s system, knocking her out of whatever out-of-body experience she’d been having.

She watched in horror as a helicopter exploded and spiralled into the living room.

That was it, the last straw. The house was already barely attached to the ground, toppling over as they watched in horror. But now, the foundation of the building gave way, chunks of the structure falling into the water below.

Pepper ran into the foyer, somehow still standing, seeking any sign of Tony. Woken from her nightmare state, Dani leapt to her feet to stop her before getting too close to the edge. She knew Pepper wasn’t about to jump off, but she caught her by her hand anyway, reaching for something to keep her own feet on the ground.

“Tony!”

They both stared down the swirling vortex in the water below, tears in their eyes. They were hoping, praying they would see even a glimmer of hope. Just any sign to know he wasn’t…

No, he was gone. The sky was dark now, nothing but a black abyss to stare down into.

They stayed there for a while, the blare of sirens in the background sounding a million miles away. At some point, what must have been at least a couple of hours later, Dani was pulled into the back of an ambulance. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she could feel someone dabbing at her head wound and bandaging it.

The nighttime sky, usually so peaceful, was lit up with red and blue flashes from the emergency vehicles. Lost in thought, Dani stared out into the vacant place the house used to be. Jagged edges still reaching out towards the sea, with beams and concrete scattered across the property. At some point, she slipped back into awareness at the back of the ambulance and stared at the worried-looking paramedics.

Unable to process things beyond them asking her name and what day it was, they tried to convince her to go to the hospital for a follow-up. Dani couldn’t hear them; she was too busy watching Pepper. The strawberry blonde was hunched over, clutching a scraped and battered helmet in her hands. Dani looked away for a moment only to find Pepper putting the helmet on.

“Pepper?”

She could hear her gasp from within the metal, body softening as she lowered herself to the ground onto her knees, sobbing. Dani pushed herself out of the paramedic’s grasp and ran over to her, collapsing on the floor beside her and reaching for her hand.

She took it firmly in her grasp, Pepper taking off the helmet and looking at her with a smile. Dani looked between her hand and Pepper’s expression, brows furrowed as she tried to figure out what she could be smiling about right now.

“Dani, I’m alright. We’re alright. Tony’s alright,” Pepper’s tone was frantic, clearly still trying to process what just happened.

She clutched the doctor’s cheek as if trying to convince her that what she was asserting was real. Was she awake? Was this all just some nightmare, some extension of the New York hellscape her mind had built?

She still wasn’t sure.

“Tony?” the brunette whispered, the only word she could think of.

“He’s OK. He got out,” Pepper said, eyes brimming with happy tears.

A breath hitched in the doctor’s throat as a wave of realization washed over her. He was alive, he was able to send a message. But what about them? After that attack, she didn’t feel much safer, even in the presence of the teams of emergency personnel around them.

She suddenly felt very exposed, sitting out in the open like this. It wasn’t over. They would come back as soon as they figured out he was still alive.

They might even come after  _ them _ .

“Pepper, what do we do now?”

The paramedic had caught up with them now, still trying to convince Dani to get her head checked out. Pepper gave them a nod and then looked back at the brunette.

“I’m going to get a hotel. I’ll take Maya,” she said finally, Dani realizing she’d completely forgotten about the guest. “I need you to go to the hospital, go to Happy. Please just promise me you’ll stay there until Tony and I figure something out.”

Dani wasn’t sure if Pepper was just trying to keep her safe or get her out of the way, but she wasn’t about to question it. Slowly she was understanding and settling into the fact that Pepper had just saved her life.

Grasping the paramedic’s outstretched hand and lifting herself up, she looked back at Pepper.

“I promise.”


	11. Chapter 11

** October 12, 2007 **

Deep breaths.

Dani went through a mental checklist as she climbed the concrete stairs to the front door, ensuring she had everything she needed. Running through lists and scenarios to-dos and keywords, she tried to emotionally steel herself for the conversation ahead.

She also mentally replayed locking the front door of her own place earlier that day, you know, just in case.

Gripping the leather binder in her left hand a little tighter, she pulled it up against her chest before reaching for the door handle, opening it up to reveal a sunlit front foyer.

“Stark Industries, please hold.”

Two receptionists and a security guard staffed the long marble desk, a Stark Industries logo mounted and glowing on the wall behind them. There were sleek modern couches that looked like they’d never been sat in and the day’s newspapers sitting untouched on a coffee table. Floor to ceiling windows overlooking a perfectly manicured lawn and garden area—everything you’d expect from a multinational weapons technology company.

“Please hold.”

Dani walked towards the friendliest looking receptionist, who greeted her and offered a smile, “Are you here for the group interview at noon?”

“No,” Dani replied promptly. “I have a meeting with, uh, Pepper Potts? Should be under Danielle Fisher.”

A raised eyebrow and a couple keystrokes later, the receptionist met her gaze and widened that smile.

“Yes, I see that right here,” She straightened her jacket, stood up and offered her hand, which Dani gladly shook. “I’m Amanda, by the way. Let me walk you to her office.”

“Nice to meet you, Amanda.”

Dani pushed off from leaning on the marble desk and walked over to approach Amanda at the security turnstiles. She waved her pass over the e-reader and escorted her through, ushering her towards a grand stairway.

Dani saw the strawberry blonde hair before she could process who was waiting at the stairs’ foot. Dressed in a sleek black and white dress and hair pulled back from her face, she exuded confidence and poise. She didn’t know a lot about the woman, but she did know that behind every successful businessman was a much smarter person - she always assumed Tony’s was Pepper.

“You must be Danielle,” she said as they shook hands. “Let’s chat in my office.”

Modern furniture, lots of light and books on every shelf. Pepper’s office was beautiful. It would have been easy to get lost in its details, but Dani tried to keep her eyes on the woman behind the desk.

“You must understand,” Pepper started, propping her elbows on the desktop. “We’ve gotten a few of these types of claims over the years. Everyone wants a piece of Stark industries.”

Dani nodded, folding her hands into her lap to restrain them. Her foot had already started to jitter against the floor below.

“Thankfully, we have ways to verify. DNA tests, background checks, all the usual,” Pepper continued in an even voice. “Your case is no different.”

She wasn’t sure if that was an accusation or a dismissal, but Dani felt the need to include some explanation in the brief pause.

“Listen, my mom may not have taken child support or anything — and frankly, money’s not why I’m here — I just thought Tony should know I exist… I guess,” she cringed at the unsatisfying and sloppy wording. “I have my birth certificate, paperwork, anything I could dig up, really…”

Pepper’s brows quirked up at opposing angles as the brunette trailed off.

“Danielle, your mom  _ did _ take child support, we were able to track down the payments. That’s how we confirmed your claim.”

She sat, speechless, and mouth agape. Her mother may not have always been the pinnacle of truthfulness, but she never thought she would lie about that. She struggled not to dive headfirst into analyzing her childhood — they had floundered, barely made it at some points. Did they have to? Where did that money go?

On the flip side of the coin, this was the proof she needed. Her claim was credible, her hunch was right, and while there may have been some gaps to fill, she was one step closer to not being completely alone in the world.

“So Howard knew about me?” Dani asked, breaking the polite silence Pepper left to help her process what was apparently a bombshell.

Her face softened slightly at the bewildered brunette’s expression.

“Seems like it.”

“Did Tony?” Dani breathed her next thought.

Pepper shook her head and straightened up in her seat, “We’re prepared to offer you a cash settlement.”

What?

“I don’t want your money,” Dani said firmly as she felt her hands turning to fists.

Why wasn’t that already clear? There was no lawyer present, no lawsuit threatened. She had come here on her own terms as a lifeline if nothing else for herself.

Just reaching out for some form of connection.

Pepper capped the pen she’d been gripping and set it down with a raised eyebrow, “You have to understand, it’s a liability to have another potential heir to the Stark fortune. So unless you’re prepared to sign away your rights to sue for a claim to that I—“

“Give me the paperwork.”

“What?”

Dani leaned forwards in her chair, eye to eye with the woman across from her. She had to make her point crystal clear.

“I know you don’t believe me. I know you think I’m just here for a payday like my mom apparently was, but I don’t want the money,” her voice was firm and level. “This is the only thing I have left anymore, and I’d hate for someone to go through life like I did, thinking they don’t have anything, anyone.”

Pepper’s eyes twinkled slightly, a modest upturn in the corner of her mouth giving her away. But that quickly disappeared as she settled back into it.

“It’s a rousing speech,” she said decisively. “But unfortunately, I’ll have to have that paperwork drawn up before we can talk about any reunions.”

Dani smiled softly.

“I’ve waited twenty-one years to know I had a brother, I think I can wait another week or two.”

** December 23, 2012 **

“Pepper, Tony, where are you?”

All Dani could do was stare at her phone, silently willing it to ring or ping with some update on where her family was. The last news she’d had was Pepper’s text yesterday (Or was it early this morning?) that they safely arrived at the hotel. There were no replies to her follow up texts, which got more frantic as the hours went on.

Maybe her phone died? Maybe she had to go off the grid for safety? Maybe she just hadn’t bought a burner phone yet.

The sound of beeps and rushes of oxygen were all she could hear as she sat vigilantly at Happy’s side. It was all she could focus on to keep herself from spiralling into a panic attack.

The nurses had been kind enough to let her stay here after she’d gotten her head checked out. And now all she could do was wait. She rechecked her phone. 3:19 PM. There was no way she was sleeping today, not without knowing they were safe.

The phone buzzed in her hands, lighting up a familiar name on the screen. Dani could feel her stomach clench as she accepted the call.

“Nat?”

“Dani,” a husky voice breathed in relief through the line, throwing the brunette for a loop. “We just got off a mission and my phone’s back at the office. Please don’t tell me you were in that house.”

“Clint,” she sighed, voice hitching as the tears pooled in her eyes at the sound of his voice.

All she could offer was unsteady breathing and choked sobs for the first few minutes. Clint patiently tried talking her down at the other end of the line.

“Hey, it’s OK. It’s going to be OK,” he soothed. “Is Pepper with you?”

She tried to steady the tears, regaining her voice again.

“No,” she hiccuped. “She said she was going to a hotel and told me to stay with Happy. I don’t know where either of them are.”

That sense of panic was coming back around, rearing its ugly head in her chest, suddenly tight and strained. She could hear Nat in the background of the call, but couldn’t make out the words.

“Is SHIELD going to step in?” She was almost afraid to ask the question. “To help Tony?”

She could hear him sigh, “Tony’s on his own, according to SHIELD. He practically invited a terrorist over for tea, Dani.”

She knew that, but she needed to hear it out loud. There was no cavalry coming in to save her brother wherever he was. She existed in two worlds at once, unsure if either Pepper or Tony were OK.

For all she knew, Pepper was safe and sleeping off the stress in her hotel room.

There was more chatter on the other end of the phone. Something about the mission, a debrief, someone was waiting for them. She thought she could hear Clint argue with them, but it was hard to make out the words from the muffled sounds.

“Dani, we’ve got to go debrief,” Clint said suddenly, voice tight. “But if you say the word, I will be there.”

She nodded to nobody, struggling to find her voice. It took everything inside of her to tear down the walls she’d built up for so long. To just say it. She was struggling to say what she wanted — no, what she needed.

“I don’t want to be alone right now,” she said quickly, voice cracking.

He sighed. Dani couldn’t tell if it was in relief or frustration.

“OK, sit tight,” Clint said. “It’s going to be OK. I’m going to get there as soon as I can.”

“OK,” her voice trembled.

“Be safe.”

Her phone clicked off in her hands, shaking from the call. She looked over at Happy, still hooked up to the machines and unmoving and sighed.

“It’s just you and me for a while, Happy. Hope you don’t mind me crashing your Christmas.”


	12. Chapter 12

** December 25, 2012 **

Two days.

According to her cellphone, it was just after midnight, which meant it’d been two full days since she’d heard from Pepper or Tony. Three days of living in Happy’s hospital room behind a door protected by armed guards.

Merry fucking Christmas to her.

She’d tried reaching out, calling Pepper’s cellphone until her voicemail box was full. She’d try again anyway, the voice on her answering machine message sending her closer to tears each time.

As much as she wanted to believe everything was going to be alright, that Tony was fully capable of fixing his own messes, the days between messages was starting to get to her. He was Schrödinger’s brother, and she… she was still stuck here.

Suspended between existence and not.

Mourning and not.

Acceptance and not.

She had been confined to this room, snuck food by nurses that she picked at like a bird. They were sympathetic, obviously not knowing the exact details, but deducing the importance of the issue from the armed guards posted at the door.

Voices brought her out of her self-pity session, low and growling outside Happy’s door. There had been a couple of media attempts to get into the room; she could hear whoever it was this time argue with security in the hallway. That’s all she thought this conversation was, another media attempt for an exclusive. But the low murmur turned louder.

She knew that voice, she realized.

Flinging open the door, she saw him, throat clenching as he gave her a sheepish smile. The guard he’d been talking to looked very unimpressed.

“He’s with me,” she said to the guard breathlessly as she pulled him into the room and closed the door behind them.

Clint stopped just beyond the threshold and took in the room, gaze stopping at the very still Happy hooked up to various machines. His blue eyes look tired, his hair as scruffy as ever, and somehow the lines in his face looked deeper than when she last saw him. But he wasn’t scraped up or limping, which set her mind at ease.

His eyes met hers, and it looked like he was going to say something, mouth flapping slightly as he tried to form the words.

“I’m sorry,” she beat him to the punch.

“For what?” Brows furrowed, and forehead wrinkled.

“For yelling at you, for not calling, for making you come all the way out here…” her eyes were already brimmed with tears, chin wobbling as she managed to get the words out. “For everything.”

The sentiment was long overdue, and she felt lifted of some strange burden she’d been carrying.

Clint crossed the space between them in one swift move and gently rested his hands on both of her shoulders. Rough fingertips traced imaginary lines on her collarbones, and the simple, comforting action broke every wall she had put up inside herself and sent tears streaming down her cheeks. She held back a sob, throat burning.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he said softly as her eyes struggled to stay on his. “I’m here because I’m your friend because I want to be here to help. You’re allowed to ask for help, Dani.”

He pulled her into the warmest hug she’d ever known. Her fingers clawed the back of his sweater, bringing his closer as she wept. His chin rested on the crook of her neck as he whispered words of comfort. She couldn’t even make them out, so focussed on bringing herself back into the room, into this moment.

Trying to take in the feeling of being protected, of being safe.

The closest she’d gotten to real human contact was one of the nurses laying a blanket over her sleeping body out of pity. It was one of the rare hour-long naps her body had let her take, too exhausted to feel scared for her brother, her (basically) sister-in-law, and even herself.

So yeah, she was going to take this in while she could.

At some point, she let her arms drop, too tired to keep up the tension in her shoulders. He gently pulled away from her and held her at arm’s length, taking a hard look at her face. He wiped away the remnants of tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, sending her stomach into somersaults.

“Have you slept at all?”

She shook her head, not meeting his eyes. She could feel his thumbs drawing circles on her biceps, and she closed her eyes, taking in the sensation. It grounded her, stilled the thoughts in her mind to a dull thud. She felt like she could finally think.

“I’ve been waiting for them to call,” she whispered.

He nodded, “Here, let me help.”

He shifted the visitor chair from beside Happy’s bed into the far corner of the room, most distant from the window and unable to be seen through the door’s glass. Tactical. Typical. Grabbing the blanket off the seat, he adjusted the pillow, so it was hanging slightly off the backrest.

“I know it’s not the best setup, but you look like you could drop at any minute,” he said, guiding her over with a hand at the small of her back.

He moved the second chair diagonal to the first, armrests touching slightly.

“And I’ll be right beside you. I promise I’ll wake you up if your phone goes off,” he held up the blanket as she sank into the chair.

He laid it carefully over her, and she sighed, shimmying into a comfortable position on the chair. Clint watched her carefully, settling onto his own chair beside her.

Dani woke restless and trapped. Something was holding her down; she couldn’t feel or move her limbs properly. Tearing off her restraints, she was still too hot, too constricted.

How long had she been here? Where was here?

Feeling choked, she could only hear ragged breathing in the pitch-black room. She was in tears, frozen solid as she tried to figure out where the noise was coming from. It was so loud, almost deafening.

It took almost a minute of listening, and her eyes adjusting before Dani realized the noise was coming from her. She wasn’t out of the woods yet. In a split second, she turned her attention to movement in the corner of her eye. The brunette yelped, jumping up from the chair and stumbling back into the wall, away from the dark figure she spotted in the room.

“Hey, hey,” the figure raised their hands, palms out. “Dani, it’s OK. It’s me, it’s Clint.”

Reality started to sink in.

Dani, in her half-asleep state, chock full of warped dreams of masked attackers and falling buildings, was in the hospital. With Happy and Clint. She put her head in her hands, admonishing herself in her head for her overreaction. It was dark, as dark as when Tony’s house went down, and she panicked.

Did she manage to get any sleep through the nightmares?

“I-I’m sorry,” she said shakily. “I thought… I was back at the house.”

She stared down at her hands, spotting the telltale tremor before looking back up at Clint. He was already halfway across the room, cautiously extending his hands toward her with a grim expression. He placed it on her bicep hesitantly, unsure if it would make things worse or help.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” he said softly, and it almost broke her again.

She took a deep breath, trying to settle herself and keep the tears at bay. She’d never been this emotional in front of Clint, and she was afraid of scaring him off. But here he was, taking everything with grace, making her wonder why she had ever doubted trusting him with this part of herself.

The  _ human _ part.

Although it wasn’t just him. She could count on one hand the people who she’d opened up to enough to be this exposed in front of.

“What time is it?” She croaked, unable to tell early morning from the evening at this point.

“Around ten,” he replied, carefully watching her expression. “I think you managed to actually get some sleep.”

She nodded, and his hand slipped down from her bicep into her own. Interlacing fingers, she gave a squeeze, thankful for the comfort. No expectations, no ulterior motives, just grateful to have a physical reminder that she wasn’t alone. He guided her back to the chairs, keeping hold of her hand across the armrests. They sat like that for a while, just staring at Happy.

It was a welcome break from being saddled with just her thoughts and the beeping machines.

Clint’s hands wandered, absentmindedly tracing circles on her forearm. A trail of goosebumps followed his touch, and she was suddenly tired again. Dani had a hard time keeping her eyes open, watching Clint through her eyelashes more than Happy.

She hardly recognized the sound that broke the silence, too close to the beeps, buzzes and hums from Happy’s machines. But looking over, Dani could see her cellphone light up with an unknown number. Scrambling to grab it, she pushed accept and put it to her ear.

“Hey, kid,” the voice on the end of the line sent a jolt through her system.

Suddenly feeling light-headed, she had to steady herself with her hand against the chair frame. Clint looked on in concern at her reaction, forehead creased.

“Tony?!” she choked out, unable to hold back the swell of emotions.

She could hear him chuckle breathily, the exhaustion in his tone evident.

“I’ve got Pepper. We’re going to be alright.”

Elation flatlined at the words, “ _ Going to be _ ?”

Dani could feel Clint’s grip around her arm tighten at her tone. He was observing her, blue eyes darting around her face, carefully monitoring her expression.

“Everyone’s fine,” she could hear him trying to quell her worries to no avail. “We’re going to have to head out of the country for a fix.”

“A  _ fix _ ?”

“I’ll explain later, but needless to say, I don’t think we’re going to be having a typical Christmas this year.”

“A little late on that one,” Dani griped, oddly comforted at their usual banter. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

The joke lowered her blood pressure a tad, keeping her head from pulsing with worry. If he was joking, he was Tony, and if he was Tony, he’d find a way to fix whatever needed to be fixed.

She sighed, knowing that it was probably best she didn’t know all the gory details right now anyway, especially on so little sleep. Clint’s grip tensed slightly, but she patted his hand and gave him a small smile.

“Are you OK? How’s Happy?”

“Still unconscious,” she sighed. “But the nurses say it could be any day now. I’m here with Clint.”

“Say hi to Legolas for me,” he quipped, clearly eager to get a one-liner in. He paused for a moment before adding a more sincere comment, “Merry Christmas, kid. Sorry we’re missing it.”

She let go of the breath in her chest she didn’t know she was holding and smiled into the phone.

“Merry Christmas, Tony,” she said softly. “Now, can we stop getting each other in life and death situations around special occasions?”

He chuckled, “Sorry, I think we both know we can’t make that promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last for this part of the series.
> 
> Tomorrow will be a double upload day, as I'll also post the first chapter of part 3 of this series.
> 
> Thanks, as always, for reading! I hope you're all safe and well.
> 
> -MRT
> 
> PS: I may have also posted a [Bucky/OFC story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23824177) I'm toying with behind the scenes today.


	13. Chapter 13

** December 31, 2012 **

“Aw, egg, no.”

Dani shot up from the pillow she’d been resting on, disoriented and still exhausted. Her back creaked, and looking down at the beat-up couch she was sleeping on, she couldn’t imagine why.

She could have sworn she was missing something, sure the couch felt different when she first fell asleep. She remembered being so comfortable.

Maybe she imagined it.

Dani sighed, reaching out toward the coffee table to check her cell phone.

How long was she out for?

“Afternoon, sleepyhead,” Nat smirked at her as she walked down the steel stairs.

“When did you get here?” Dani mumbled, rubbing her eyes and stretching.

“A couple of hours ago. Had to wrap up a mission,” she replied, sauntering over and plopping herself on the couch next to her. “Please don’t tell me Clint made you sleep on his grimy couch?”

She laughed, “I guess I must have drifted off during the movie? I don’t really remember, to be honest.”

Dani had flown back to New York the day after Christmas, not wanting to spend more time alone in California than she needed to. She’d been staying at Clint’s apartment in the city — he owned the building, actually. He’d graciously offered for her to stay with him before they headed back to work.

She knew it was probably guilt-driven, worried about leaving her alone in the aftermath of everything, but she appreciated it nonetheless. Truthfully, she felt a hell of a lot safer in his (somewhat) rundown apartment than she would have alone in Stark Tower.

Not that she’d ever tell Tony that.

“How have you been holding up?” Nat asked, patting a hand on the brunette’s knee.

“Better now that Happy’s awake and Tony and Pepper are out of surgery,” she replied with a smile. “So much for the holiday break, huh?”

Nat’s eyes crinkled, a break from her regularly scheduled scrutiny, before barking across the room, “How’s breakfast coming, Barton?”

Dani looked over her shoulder at the blond, surprisingly domestic hovering over the stove in his apron. Naturally, he also had the excellent supervision of Lucky, his dog, who was waiting eagerly for any crumbs or droppings.

“Other than an egg situation, I think we’re good?” He sounded unsure of himself, and Nat gave Dani a look.

It was the Barton-definitely-ruined-something-and-is-trying-to-hide-it look.

They both knew it well.

The pair giggled. Dani extended her arms over her head in a stretch before immediately regretting it, groaning at the pull on the scrapes and bruises that littered her back. She could see Nat and Clint’s heads pivot at the sound.

“I’m fine,” she sighed, trying to placate them. “Just sore.”

Flashing her a skeptical look, Nat lifted the back of her shirt, making Dani yelp.

“Jesus, Dan,” Nat hissed at the purple and green watercolour along her ribs.

Dani promptly pulled her shirt down, shooting Nat a glare, “Trust me, it looks a hell of a lot better than it did.”

Clint took the tense moment to set two plates down in front of them, overflowing with eggs, bacon and toast. The pair ceased their frustrated glances at each other long enough to shoot him grateful smiles as he plopped onto the couch, sandwiching Dani between the two spies.

“Thanks, Clint,” Dani said softly.

The clinking of plates and cutlery was all anyone could hear as the group went silent. Lucky paced between them, sticking his nose at the side of dishes hoping for pity scraps. Clint was a softy, setting some of the extra bacon down on a separate plate for him. The dog gobbled it down greedily before looking up at him for more.

“So, have you decided what’s next for you?” Clint asked Dani.

Nat looked surprised by the question, shooting her fellow spy a quizzical look before looking to Dani. Two sets of eyes on her made me feel uneasy about the decision she’d come to — one that she hadn’t even broken to Tony yet.

“I think it’s time for me to leave New York,” Dani said tentatively. “I think — no, I  _ know _ I want to go back to D.C.”

Nat’s eyes went wide for a split second, but Clint gave her a knowing smile.

They had spent the last couple of days talking about how uneasy she was with her current situation. The late-night heart-to-hearts really helped her parse out what she really wanted moving forward. Those evenings lounging on the couch, he listened as she talked herself through it, opening up in a way that she couldn’t to a stranger.

And while she knew that he secretly had ulterior motives of having her around more — not that she minded that perk — it was still comforting to know that he didn’t feel like she was trying to run away from her problems.

“I had stability in D.C., and I’ve uh, already submitted the transfer paperwork,” Dani admitted bashfully, massaging the back of her neck. “They offered me a position a month back, but gave me the holidays to think about it.”

All eyes were on Nat as she processed the change.

“I think it’ll be good for you,” she said ultimately, but Dani could spot a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.

“But?”

“No, but,” she said innocently. “I’m sure you’ll love spending more time with us… and Cap.”

Dani’s jaw slacked, “He took the position?”

“You knew about that?” Clint asked bewildered.

“He told me on Thanksgiving. Asked me how I liked living in D.C.,” she said, brushing off the surprise in his expression. “But yes, it  _ will _ be nice to see you two more,” she said as she threw her arms around both of their shoulders, trying to distract from Nat’s obsession with her and Steve.

“If you think I’m letting this one go, you’ve got another thing coming,” she whispered in her ear, pecking her on the cheek.

Dani could only roll her eyes and will away the pink tinge that had likely reached her ears. The women collected and started on the dishes while Clint put away the spare blankets and pillows that littered the couch and floor.

“By the way,” Nat started, and Dani’s head whipped over to look at her, knowing that tone. “I wasn’t sure how you felt about going out tonight, but I may have reserved a table at a really nice restaurant. You know, just in case…”

Dani looked back at Clint, who shrugged and gave her an ‘up-to-you’ look.

She hadn’t really had a holiday yet, so the prospect of enjoying non-hospital and non-Clint (Sorry, Clint!) food was enticing. Without the guilt of her family’s safety weighing on her and the possibility of new re-beginnings in D.C., the doctor felt the need to celebrate.

She gave the spy a wry smile, “It’d be a shame to let that reservation go to waste.”

The redhead beamed.

“OK, good, because the dress I got you is non-refundable, and I’d hate to have to wait to see you wear it,” Nat rattled off somewhat smugly.

Dani bit her tongue, resisting the temptation to tell Natasha that was a good move considering she lost all her luggage (and half of her non-work wardrobe) to Malibu’s shores.

Frankly, she didn’t need the ego boost.

“Help me with hair and make-up?”

“Done deal.”

They spent the rest of the day together, taking Lucky for a walk, watching some trashy reality T.V., before finally starting to get ready for the night out. Apparently, sparkling wine was necessary for Nat’s getting ready process — not just a one-off for Steve’s party earlier in the year. Clint popped the bottle (narrowly missing the bow hung on the wall over the couch) and passed the glasses.

Natasha stayed true to her word, helping Dani with hair and make-up. And thankfully, the dress she chose covered enough of her back to avoid showing off her bruises. Nat gently handled her hair, quickly covering up the still-healing wound at the End of her head.

“We were really worried when we saw what happened,” Nat said quietly, bobby pin sticking out of the side of her mouth. “Clint practically ripped my phone out of my hand as soon as we landed.”

Dani smiled at the mental image.

“I’m glad he called,” Dani said, meeting Nat’s eyes in the mirror. “I just wish I wasn’t such an emotional wreck the whole time.”

“Maybe if you let them out a little more often,” the redhead suggested coyly.

“Fat chance.”

“Spoken like a true Stark.”

She paused, holding her gaze with a quirked brow before her expression settled back to neutral. A brief upturn of the corners of her lips made it look like she knew something the brunette didn’t.

“You’re cute. Oblivious but cute,” Nat mused with a half-smile under her breath.

Dani shot her a look, forehead creased, “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” she said with a wink and a pat on her head. “All done.”

Dani was thankful she’d picked up a jacket from her suite in Stark Tower. While most of her more elegant clothes were in the ocean off the coast of Malibu, her winter wear was safe and sound at her place. Winding her scarf around herself, they both headed downstairs. Clint held out her jacket for her to slip into.

“You look sharp,” she commented to the blond as she stuck her arms through the sleeves. “ _ And _ a tie, I’m impressed. Nat’s work?”

He looked bashful, colour rising to his cheeks as he absentmindedly adjusted it, “How did you know?”

“It’s OK, Barton,” Nat swooped in, patting him on the back. “Ties are hard.”

They caught a ride to the restaurant, an unassuming office building with panoramic views on the top floor. Their table was right up against the window, with a stunning view of the overcast NYC sky. The three-course dinner flew by, the trio chatting and laughing like they always had.

The familiarity of the moment, something that she hadn’t had enough of this year, wasn’t lost on Dani. She drifted off the conversation at points, lost in gratitude that she’d share more of these moments with the team in D.C.

She’d never imagined being this close to people she met at work, but somehow, she felt like she’d known them her whole life through those small shared moments of vulnerability. They’d laughed, they’d cried, they’d been astoundingly drunk together, and she couldn’t be more grateful to count them as her friends.

Before she knew it, Nat was tugging Clint’s tie towards the dance floor. She hadn’t even noticed it had opened up but watched with a grin as they circled the floor, showing off some pretty impressive moves. Nat led, of course. Sipping her drink and taking in the scene, Dani lost herself to people watching, content.

“Earth to Dani,” Clint’s voice cut through the daydream. “Did you save a dance for me?”

Staring at the mischievous look in the blond’s eyes, she rolled her own, before smiling and taking his outstretched hand.

“Of course I did,” she chuckled.

Nat took the opportunity to disappear into the crowd, either to find potential prey or a refill. The music changed to a slower song as they strolled onto the floor, but that wasn’t about to stop her.

Who was she to deny the man who flew across the country to help her a dance?

“So is dancing part of espionage training, or are you just that good?” She asked with a smirk.

He returned the smirk with a glint in his eyes, “I’ll let you decide.”

She interlaced her hands behind his neck, his hands falling to her low waist. Inches apart, she felt a little silly about the whole thing, a light blush creeping onto her face. She had difficulty keeping her eyes on his face, feeling a little weird staring into those big blue eyes.

Why was she suddenly nervous? It was just Clint.

“You look amazing,” he offered over the music. He looked down at her dress and smiled, “Purple’s your colour.”

“You think?” She said, shimmying a little in the aubergine frock.

“Absolutely,” he said with a grin.

The way his eyes lit up sent her heart thudding in her chest. She could feel her face grow even hotter, knowing that he was looking at her.

“Well, thank you,” she said in a small voice, leaning closer to his ear. “For everything, Clint. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you.”

She pulled back to take in his full expression and grinned as soon as she saw the blush.

It was better than any reply he could have provided aloud.

Suddenly feeling brave, she wrapped her arms around him tighter and leaned her head on his shoulder. Sucked into the innocent moment, Dani let the music take her thoughts far away from the dance floor. She could feel Clint smile into the crook of her neck and feel the rumble of his chuckle.

“Say cheese,” he whispered to her.

Before she could turn her head around, she saw the telltale flash of light. Looking back, she spotted Nat standing with her cellphone in her hands and a dastardly grin.

“Oh, you are so dead, Romanoff,” Dani cursed with a lopsided smile, leaving Clint’s grasp as she jokingly reached for the redhead’s phone.

Drinks on drinks later, they were giggling, red-faced messes, but in the best way possible. Dani somehow managed to wrestle her phone’s on-screen keyboard to shoot Tony and Pepper a happy new year message that they quickly returned.

Her cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much.

By the time the trio rang in the new year, Dani was miles away, staring out into the New York City skyline. She didn’t know if she’d have a chance to see it from this height again before she left for D.C., so she was trying to take it all in. Dani was elated that she could have this brief moment of peace.

Of normalcy.

With friends.

Maybe it was the events of the past two weeks that had her feeling nostalgic — or perhaps it was the drinks — but Dani realized she  _ wasn’t _ alone anymore. As much as she wanted to live up to the strong independent woman narrative her brain concocted to make her childhood seem less awful. She knew she could ask for help now.

She had a support system.

She had a family.

And as stitched together and dangerous as that family might be, it was hers.

“You good?” Nat looked over at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Clint shot a concerned look and took the opportunity to rest his hand on her forearm. Dani leaned her head on Nat’s shoulder and hummed contentedly.

“Perfect.”

** [End of work] **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little preview of where this slow burn might be heading. 
> 
> This story doesn’t end here! The first chapter of the next “season” of this series is already up, so feel free to subscribe if you’d like to get regular updates. Hopefully you enjoyed this happy ending, because it gets darker from here on in.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this part of the series. Feel free to leave any wishes, hopes, or suggestions in the comments (or on my [tumblr](https://pasmonblog.tumblr.com/ask), anon open).
> 
> Stay safe,  
> MRT

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you so much for following along. 
> 
> All comments and kudos are loved and cherished.  
> You can also find me on [tumblr](https://pasmonblog.tumblr.com/), where I post a lot of comic book content, work updates, and behind-the-scenes commentary.


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